A TGB READER STORY: Market Dynamics
Magic Mushrooms, Cancer and the End of Life – Part 1

A TGB EXTRA: The Alex and Ronni Show

Yesterday, my former husband, Alex Bennett, and I sat down for our first Skype chat of the new year. Just two old friends who've known one another for about 60 years catching up with what's going on in our lives.

If you would like to see Alex's entire two-hour show with other guests following our chat, you can do that at Facebook or Gabnet on Facebook or on YouTube.


Enjoying your discussion today, we almost didn't have kids, and enjoyed our friends kids, then we had three sons, and it's pretty good, they have grown, gone to college and are on their own now. But it reminded me of the Ann Landers Study of if you had it to do again, would you have kids. A large percentage said no. Your discussion with Alex about being pregnant, and alone, no job, etc. pretty amazing, our world is a little different now, but remembering how you gave your son up for adoption and meeting him this year with his wife and grandchild is so amazing. ( I remember those unwed mother homes, and high school when the girls went off, now 50 years later, they come back for the HS reunion)
Take good care, m

Wow, "unwed mother," a term I'd long forgotten. Thank heavens. Has the patriarchy ever given women any of their rights or their dues without being called out by women???? Hmmm, I doubt it, though I hope I'm wrong.

How beautiful that the path you chose enabled you to meet your son! I think you or your ex used the word miracle.

So love your Skypes with your ex!

This was especially poignant to watch today, 1.3 - what would have been my 50th wedding anniversary with my former husband. I've been re-married for 22 years and am still friends w/ my former husband, someone I've known for almost 60 years too.

I too have cancer and tho' not terminal [I guess .. aren't all of us 'terminal', cancer or not?], feel lousy while I work full time. And about symptoms .. I have them but not those that an oncologist thinks are worth checking .. even tho' at the start of the discovery, I didn't either. Oh how stupid cancer is!

Before and after your diagnosis, Ronni, is that you have enlightened my life and that of so many. Thank you. And you too Alex -- funny how friendships are.

So I want to be IN the conversation esp. about the choice to have children .. and I chose not to AND it was hell in 1973 when hospitals used the formula woman's age x number of children (she had) had to equal 120 (!) before a tubal ligation could be performed. I had to be certified by two psychiatrists and then went on to be active in the Natl. Org. for Non-Parents. (Done now.) Keep talking!

Thank you for another great episode of the Alex and Ronni Show. I wish you guys could do these every week, though I realize how unrealisti8c that would probably be. I really appreciate the time and effort you two take to do this as often as you do.

Joan's comment about the formula for a tubal ligation in the 1970's reminded me of what a difficult time that often was for women. We were becoming enlightened and liberated in many ways, but it still took several years before a woman could make a decision to determine her own childbearing future and actually do something permanent about that.

I had my third and final child at 32 in the 1980's and still had to justify making the decision of that surgery. Actually I had requested it after the birth of my second child, but was discouraged by the physician at that time, because, as he said, if something happened to that child, then you would probably want another, but couldn't have one. I gave in to that argument at that time, but still find it odd to think of having a child as a "spare."

Joan, that is fascinating, I had no idea about the tubal ligation formula in the '80's.

Good session. I stayed up late just to find some time to watch--with everybody else in bed. Was well worth it. My first wife ran away suddenly with our 8 month old child in the late 1970's, so I was a tad scarred by it. After sowing wild oats for a couple of years, with abandon (as a sort of misguided trauma therapy), I met wife number 2 and we've had two children together--it has worked out swimmingly well. Looking back on those two years between marriages, I feel very lucky that I did not become an "unwed father" because that would have likely been devastating to all involved. In retrospect, I often shudder to think of that possibility, that the what-if. I owe my good fortune, mostly, I think, to the pill and its faithful use by the women, back then, in my life, and perhaps a little luck. My brother told me that I must have had help in life, as in divine help, to have survived, in style, the sometimes calamitous and/or tortuous journey. Somebody was looking out for me.

I recall well 1950s attitudes toward unwed mothers from observation when I was in high school and the ostracizing to which they could be subjected. (Divorced mothers and their children were stigmatized, too). Considering other aspects of life as well, that such single mothers and their infants might be subjected to, adoption was often in the best interests of all concerned. I’m glad your choice worked out so well for you, your son and his adopted family.

I would not have been a good candidate for marriage until my late twenties when I finally wed, or for having children any sooner — but even better for my children and our family I was in my early thirties before my first child was born. I actually had no intent to marry, much less ever have any children until I gradually changed my mindset to consider the possibility on both matters when in my mid twenties. To have done so when I was younger would not have been wise for me, any children I might have had, or any man I might have wed — likewise for my husband who was in his early thirties by then.

I never was mommy material and knew it early on. Fortunately for any potential kids I might have had, I didn't have them. My now-husband sired 5 before we met, and we raised his youngest son (in his teens at the time, 1978) together. Major challenge for someone with no parenting experience, but it worked out pretty well for all of us.

Like a couple of other readers, I would have opted to have a tubal ligation but in the '50s-'60s no OB-GYN would perform one on a woman in her 20s or 30s with no kids. I had no idea there was a formula! So I stayed on The Pill--with all its health risks--for over 30 years.

The comments to this entry are closed.