Reasons to Visit Australia
Fighting Cancer


Even out of sync, you're looking pretty good and love the hat.
Enjoy today.

What wonderful show. Love the repartee between the two of you and the topics.
Sometimes I wish I could jump right in as when Alex spoke of feeling invisible. Welcome to the world of older women Alex. I think this issue has been far more obvious with women and with a younger staring point because of the different ways men and women are viewed in our culture.
I often struggle with the issue brought of medicalization of old age and life revolving around doctor appointments. I experienced so much of that caring for my parents that I have become a non- compliant patient. Don’t wasn’t a lot of stuff done because then you are down the rabbit hole with more testing and more stuff.
Hope you have a beautiful week, feeling good and getting the opportunity for some fun. I love you Ronni.

I didn't "fight" cancer either. I simply resigned myself to "enduring" whatever the doctors ordered. It became my full-time job. My life became whatever my condition and doctor appointments dictated. Nor did I study myself as you do. Instead, I became a medical student and studied the disease and treatments. But then, I wasn't diagnosed as terminal. I'm sure that puts it in a whole different light, one I can't begin to imagine. You're a wonder, Ronni. You really are.

As for those ageist jokes you mentioned, I think if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're in pretty sorry shape. And if we can laugh, why can't others? There is such as thing as being too sensitive, too politically correct. If we don't like what we hear, we don't have to listen.

Love the look great. Along with you and Susan, I too did not "fight" cancer. I was 27-28 at the time, and took my guitar to the hospital. Somehow or other I had a single room, though paid the double rate. I hung paintings and magazine pics on the walls, and when back home had friends bring Library of Congress records(!!!!) of southern hill music to listen and learn. At that time, I was through with religion, and had not discovered spirituality. I was often terrified but somehow didn't let the cancer and terror rule.

I've not thought deeply about this, what humour is, it seems that it is often at somebody's expense. I don't watch the late night comedians, but suspect I'd hear a lot of bashing of just about everybody. I often laugh at myself when alone, like, "Wo, there goes the dishtowel again," while laughing. But yeah, if that TV comedy were aimed at a certain race or religion, etc. they would be in hot water.

I've come to realize that younger people just aren't equipped to understand what it's like to grow old. Even if they try, they're going to get it wrong. If I'm not going to beat myself up for how I thought when I was their age, then in all fairness I have to make allowances for them.

I do try to give my family and friends a few messages in a bottle that might make sense to them when they reach my age / circumstances, but... I don't really expect the messages to get through.

As for the decline of abilities, I'm trying to think of what I can do as, "What I can do NOW," with the always-present assumption that in a few weeks or months. I may not be able to do it any more. I should appreciate being able to stand and walk across the room while I still can, because the time is coming soon when I won't be able to.

Yesterday I watched "Coco" on Netflix. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a bout of joy and adventure, with an aftertaste of deeper thoughts about life and death... that are NOT depressing. (No, I'm not Mexican, but to anyone who wants to fuss about cultural appropriation, I'd say, go away! This is what cultural appropriation is for. Seeing Coco made my life significantly better.)

They say behind the humor is a truth, so I am only offended by aging jokes if they are cruel. If a joke is about memory loss I can identify with that and laugh, but if it's about dementia I find that highly objectionable.

What really drives me up a wall is the assumption that because I'm old I am not quite bright. I am indignant when I am treated like a child who has to have things explained to them and doubly so when they turn to my daughter instead of me to tell her something about the issue; whether it's my health or how to use a gadget. I want to say that I am old, not feeble minded.

I really admire the way you are coping with the "predicament", Ronni. You are a shining example of how to survive a very bad deal that life handed you.

Love listening to the two of you, and sent some of your discussions on to my Mom who at 90 also has a good sense of life, and issues. Both of you Take good Care, m

I SO totally agree with Alex about the "disappearing" thing, and I agree with Andrea about that phenomenon starting much sooner for women. I'm now 82 and have felt essentially invisible on many occasions for at least the last 25+ years.

Good point, too, about the "medicalization" of old age--even in the absence of serious health issues. I'm almost at the point of giving up routine doctor visits. There's always something new that can't be fixed, which leads me to agree with Alex on another point: I was significantly more pleasant as a person before daily pain invaded my life.

That has also impacted my activity level and what I can do physically. I've already had to give up doing many of the things I enjoyed. What's left are the essentials that I (or someone else) HAS to do--like shop for groceries, do the laundry, clean the house, pump gas for the car, etc. My husband is 89 and, understandably, has some limitations so a lot of the daily duties fall to me.

Neither of us has the slightest desire to move to any type of institution, and we don't have the financial resources to hire regular help, so we'll keep on keeping on for as long as we can.

Old age: it is what it is. . .

You leave me smiling.

Note to Alex: you’re right. Gabapentin makes you stupid. Stop taking it. If doctors really gave a shit about old people instead of always worrying about the DEA breaking down their doors, they would rise up and fight the power by prescribing opioids for pain when and where they are needed, and would defend their right to do so. Everything has a downside, but I’d rather deal with constipation (add some fiber) than with loss of “faculties.” And if some hillbillies want to OD, I shouldn’t be punished for their lack of personal responsibility. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh, but I am sick and tired of being lumped in with that part of society that can’t maintain control over their use of drugs. It is grossly unfair to lump us all into one irresponsible category and punish us by making us jump through hoops to get the necessary pain-relieving drugs that we need or prescribing drugs that harm us in much worse ways. We old ones have enough trouble hanging on to our faculties as we age. We don’t need anything that worsens the problem.

Appreciated Alex’s story about how he was awakened to ageism. Certainly have appreciated all the effort you’ve made here, Ronni, to make people more aware of the impact of how the language we use influences perceptions.

So it is that the incessant joking references to old people’s infirmities, stereotypical inferences to certain behaviors some experience are all too often assumed by many people to apply to all. If that isn’t ageism, then I don’t know what is. That language permeates attitudes, becoming a belief all too often automatically assumed to be a trueism insinuating itself into all aspects of our lives.

I can see humor in many areas that aren’t politically correct, but I see no useful purpose in such exploitation. I think a comic relying on old folk stereotype jokes is simply lazy — going for a cheap easy joke. I’ve always liked your example, Ronni, of substututing one of the other discriminatory “isms” in the statement, punch line, or joke and see just how acceptable that sounds.

Sure, it’s not hard to laugh at some of the foilbles experienced with aging, but when they dominate the discourse about old people the language takes a toll. Self-esteem for some can be worn down at difficult times in life at any age — by words, attitudes toward them, belittling jokes, most groups have said. We’ve awakened to such a reality and make an effort to be more sensitive to many of them. How about a little more sensitivity, awakening and consideration for aging people?

As to Darlene's comment about people discussing things with her daughter instead of her, it reminded me of when my mother and I would go out, say for lunch. When the waitress would turn to me to inquire, "Would she like her coffee with the meal" or some other question about my mother's order, I would look at her and say, "I don't know. Let's ask her, shall we?" Same in doctor's offices. It was a real eye opener for me to know what's coming for me.

I'm all in with Emma Jay! So many hoops and related demeaning experiences for a low dose of a mild opiate so that I can continue to get out of bed, stand upright more or less , walk, care for myself and live independently. And that doesn't even consider the fear factor--how long would I have to exist with pain but without functionality if government overreach prevails?

I also agree about gabapentin. It was originally an anti-seizure drug and, for me at least, did nothing whatsoever for pain while making me feel totally "wired"--or perhaps, more accurately, weird. I've had similar paradoxical reactions to several other non-opioid drugs I've been "encouraged" to try by my HMO. Many chronic pain sufferers are 60+, and the overwhelming majority had nothing to do with the "opioid crisis". Yet, we are for sure paying the price since our self-righteous, punishment-oriented government does not distinguish between "drug addicts" and those dealing daily--and responsibly--with chronic pain.

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