A TGB READER STORY: My Auntie Mame and Uncle Elvis
Happy Valentine's Day

Annual TimeGoesBy Donation Week 2019...

Plus The Alex and Ronni Show. But first:

Here we are again for the fourth year in a row with the TGB Donation Drive. I began this annual fundraiser to help pay for the services I use to keep this blog advertising free.

In particular, I think email subscribers over this past year probably appreciate not having their mailings splattered with ugly ads since I added that service thanks to your donations.

Donations also pay for email and domain name registrations along with the #$%^&* increase twice each year in the price of internet access.

They also allow me to subscribe to the most important news and information publications as even more of them this year have placed their sites behind paid firewalls. This and more help keep the TGB website an ad-free zone on the internet.

You would be right to wonder, given the news of my incurable cancer, if donation week is still necessary – and indeed it will undoubtedly be the last one. Let me explain starting with this quotation from “John” in the comments from last Wednesday's post:

”What's the plan for this blog? Out in time, the farther the better, but when 'the battle ends' will we be able to re-read 'Time Goes By' for some span of time?

“Perhaps there is a designated successor already in the wings for seamless handoff. Or, it is (irreplaceable) Ronni or nothing and TGB will simply just be gone.”

Good questions, John, that I have been sporadically working on for several months. Dozens of readers, like John, have written to ask what happens to TGB when I die and I have decided to pay ahead for each of those services listed above for the five years following my death. When that happens, ownership of the blog, domain ownerships, etc. will pass to my friend, healthcare proxy and heir.

It's not set in stone to happen but I am also looking for a blogging successor. It's tricky. The person needs to be old enough to have some personal experience with ageing – above 60 I would say at the young end up to any age but with a better life expectancy than my current one.

The person should closely share my political and societal opinions on elders and ageing, be a reasonably good writer with a willingness to keep up with news and politics related to ageing in all its aspects, have a passion for ageing issues along with a decent sense of humor about it all.

With the news of my latest CT scan reported here Monday, I'm guessing I might have more time than I thought to find this special person.

I love doing this blog, and I am grateful to all of you, dear readers, for your fine contributions in the comments. It's your smart, thoughtful, and funny conversation that makes TGB special and I want to find a replacement who can continue making this blog one of the best collaborations online between producer and readers.

Which brings us to this week's fourth annual donations drive. As in the previous years, I will make this as unobtrusive as possible – at least a bit less annoying than NPR donation drives, so let's get started.

The campaign consists of this introductory blog post (including the latest Alex and Ronni Show episode at the end) with a link to the Paypal donation page and a MUCH shorter version of this invitation to contribute at the top of each post through next Monday. The “rules” are these:

  • No one is required to donate. Nothing about TGB will change if you do not. This is entirely voluntary.

  • If you do choose to donate, no amount is too small. Whatever is comfortable for you is all that matters.

  • You do not need a Paypal account to donate. When you click on the link below, the Paypal donation page will open (it's a little slow sometimes) where you can donate via credit card, debit card or, if you have a Paypal account, by a money transfer - each in any amount you want.

  • The Paypal site works in the United States and internationally.

To repeat: Donations are voluntary. Nothing changes if you do not donate. Here is the Paypal link which you will also find near the top of the right sidebar.

As I said, donation is voluntary. I don't want anyone to feel coerced. For those of you who have set up a recurring donation, you might want to cancel that and if you are still inclined to donate, do it as a one-time. It will save you some scrambling perhaps, when I have shuffled off this mortal coil, setting your account straight.

* * *

As I noted on last year's donation drive kick-off post:

Having cancer certainly does rearrange one's priorities and I have thought hard about this extra time on Earth I have been granted. I've never been interested in a bucket list and unless you count my longing to live again in New York City, nothing I yearn for.

What I like these days is my comfortable apartment while making the main part of my daily life the production of TimeGoesBy. It has become much more to me than a blog; it is a gathering place for like-minded elders to talk about what it's like growing old, and I learn so much from you.

And now, here is this week's Alex and Ronni Show.


First thought after reading TGB today, Ronni..."There will never be another you!" You will likely hear it very often from these many friends.

I was still in high school, leaning on the sink and washing the endless dishes that piled up in a house full of brothers(4!!), when Nat King Cole was on my sanity saving radio. That velvety baritone voice stays in my mind still. His version of this song comes
to mind whenever the losses that come to us all at this end of this dance. Two tough ones for me this week, my brother and a friend from those same high school days.

There are links for it online, but I'll add the lyrics here for inspiration and my own 'remember-er. A bit too romantic sounding, I know, but love is love in all its varieties.

Your readers of my vintage may remember "The Hit Parade" I waited for each week to learn if my favorite was still #1. And I could sing along.

"There Will Never Be Another You"

This is our last dance together
Tonight soon will be long ago
And in our moment of parting
This is all I want you to know
There will be many other nights like this
And I'll be standing here with someone new
There will be other songs to sing
Another fall, another spring
But there will never be another you
There will be other lips that I may kiss
But they won't thrill me
Like yours used to do
Yes, I may dream a million dreams
But how can they come true
If there will never, ever be another you?
Yes, I may dream a million dreams
But how can they come true
If there will never, ever be
Another you?
Songwriters: Mack Gordon / Harry Warren

While probably obvious to most, you need to comment on the blog, not the email! Learning happens daily!

Thank you Ronni for all you do!

I’m so relieved that we will have continued access to your blog. I look up stuff in your archives all the time. Because of this blog, I got access to free Medicare sign up advice I didn’t know existed. (Of course Trump has cut back on those services now).

Maybe you can “interview” candidates by asking them to write a “guest blog” now about substantial content related to aging. If you deem it worthy, you can publish it and read the comments.
Happy, so happy, this is a future contingency and not an immediate one. Carry on, Ronni.

I can't imagine anyone being a worthy successor to Ronni Bennett. Unless maybe Alex ... ?

While I appreciate your impulse to find a successor, the blog is so much "you" that I wonder if such an effort would be successful. For many years, probably 40 or more, I subscribed to, followed and contributed a few articles to a niche market magazine about a subject that held my interest. When the editor/publisher died about a year or two ago, (I think he was in his 80's) he essentially took the magazine with him. At first, I was incensed and sorry that the magazine would no longer be published, but then I realized how much the publication reflected the editor/publisher, and in that sense appreciated the lyrics of the old country song: "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."

Considering all you are going through right now, Ronni, it is damn noble of you to concern yourself with the continuation of access to TGB after your death and with the effort of finding a possible successor. Personally, I couldn’t be more grateful for what you have already done for those of us going through the aging season. There is no other site that comes close to yours for the insights as well as the practical discussions we find here.

On a side note, I did donate (it's voluntary and not expected--as Ronni stated--but I wanted to. I only mention this because I needed to forewarn my wife that a modest credit card entry will show up on our statement (donating is so easy to do online) and I wanted to let her know what it was all about. It was interesting for me as I explained the many years that I've been following this blog and how much I admired Ronni and all the good it has done for me through the more than 13 years I've been following it. I also went into some detail of the cancer related predicament and how we are all following that journey--including the recent good news on scan report. She said, YES, that's great--go for it!! But, in the end, it's my deal and although she likes to hear about the blog, she has never visited it. Yes, it's my thing not hers--but she supports and promotes my interest as I do her interest in "Judge Judy" and "Dr Phil", HGTV, etc.

Thank you, Charlene, for the lyrics to "There will never be another you" because it' s one of my favorites, too, as is Nat King Cole. It is indeed a reminder that we are all unique and will be missed by someone after we are no longer.

They say that immortality lies in the memories of others. I hope I am leaving good memories as I approach no longer living.

Charlene is so right - there will never be another you, Ronni.

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