A Note or Two on Growing Old Plus The Alex and Ronni Show
INTERESTING STUFF – 30 March 2019

Cancer Test Anticipation

Back in mid-February, after two months of treatment with my then-new chemotherapy regimen, I reported this news from my doctor:

“'The CT scan shows the size of the lesions in your lung have decreased by half and some are no longer detected at all,' said the doctor. 'The one lesion in your peritoneum is not visible.'”

Woo-hoo. I don't have words to describe my relief and pleasure when the doctor told me that. Until that moment arrives, you wait and wait and wait, rocketing back and forth from fear and despair to confidence, then suddenly the answer is right there, right now, and in this case, it was spectacular.

Now, an additional two months have passed and it is time for another CT scan next week. I thought the wait period, having been through it before, might be easier this time, but no. As the date gets closer, I worry. I don't seem to be able to control that, but I do my best to enjoy these good days I'm having.

In a week or so, I'll have the new CT scan results. On my best days I believe the new pictures will be a repeat of those in February. Meanwhile, however, excuse me while I go worry. (I know I'm being an idiot but there is a little part of me over in a corner of my brain who believes worry is a requirement for making good things happen.)


Comments

Good morning, Ronni - were we all brought up with the mantra of that last line you wrote? It gave me a chuckle of how I was raised - to do the work, then enjoy whatever; to feed the cat, then go play; to eat dinner, then have dessert, etc.

Of course, your worry is on a whole different plane. We'll all be worried for you as well, carrying around hope for the best results, and putting aside those we currently carry that are of lesser importance.

Best wishes for the hopes to be realized next week.

What Simone said . . .

Yes, what Simone said...

I know the waiting must be terrible ... but may the waiting be worth it for a good outcome!

Wishing you upbeat distractions while waiting for another win, Ronni.

Fingers crossed. (Do kids still do that?)

Hoping for a positive outcome.

Breathe.

Who wouldn’t worry? Curious...do you have any techniques for clearing your mind so worry doesn’t “carry you away”? This would be similar to what those of us who are learning to meditate might do. Name the thought “worry” when it starts to grab hold..and don’t go down the rabbit hole with the detailed chatter. Quite easy for me to say, I know.

Simone put it nicely.

We’re with you, Ronni.

Crossed fingers here. Can't hurt. Might help.

...What Simone and everyone has said!

Love your candor (warts and all:-)

Here's wishing you more good news Ronni. Wonder why we have that feeling that worry is the requirement?

Apps that quiet the mind sometimes help. There's one I like that has a lot of cool nature sounds. Even has the sound of a cat purring. It's "Relax Melodies."

I completely get it. For the past 2 years I have to have lung scans every 3 months. Following a good report, I’m higher than a kite for 2 months. The 3rd month my stomach is in a knot most of the time. Can’t seem to conquer the fear. But you are the same - dare I say that makes us both “normal”? Wishing you the best.

Please add my name to the list of those echoing what Simone said so well.

In the words of well-wishing Quakes, I'm holding you in the Light Ronni.

Oops! -- that typo in my comment above should, of course, have been Quakers,. although Quakers do occasionally hold Quakes.

"there is a little part of me over in a corner of my brain who believes worry is a requirement for making good things happen." I can so relate to that, Ronni! It's as though the worry is the price we pay for allowing ourselves to hope for good news.
And may it be good news. Sending hugs.

Worrying with you and hoping for a good outcome, Ronni! I like the idea of "holding you in the light"! Done!

I'm inspired by how well you cope despite the worry. Wishing you another good report, Ronni.

I'm always afraid to somehow 'jinx' outcomes by assuming that they will go well...and in your case the results are literally a matter of length of quality life, so worry is very appropriate! Sending strong vibes for good results for you! We care!!!

If worry makes good things happen I hope you worry a LOT right now!

💙 lots of love being sent to you Ronni.

Hugs, best wishes & good thoughts, Ronni; we're all with you.

Extra blessings for the next week or so. And like Simone said...............

I’m with you about worrying making good things happen-I’ve invested lots of time and energy and sleepless nights into that belief. Sending positive energy vibes for great test results next week. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers with the rest of your crew

Ditto Simone. . .

We're all worrying with you and hoping for a good outcome!

Crossing fingers and toes for you.

Wishing you all positive energy, Ronni.

We're hanging in with you.

10/10

Picturing you smiling all the way home from your appointment. Good luck.

I think having self-awareness makes worry inevitable. Unfortunately. Plus, having been raised by a highly anxious mother, I breathed in the "But what if" approach to life.

Your worry is absolutely normal, if unpleasant. Try to sit back now and then and visualize all the light people are sending you. As the Arabs say, peace be unto you.

Idem Simone. Will direct my worries in your direction ... may they prove pointless. (I KNOW that it’s pointless to worry but still keep practicing.)
Always in your direction, great love and admiration and gratitude

My late husband had his own view of worrying. I was a worrier and when I asked him why he wasn't worried he replied, "Darlene, if worrying would change anything I would worry, but it just keeps me from having a clear mind to solve the problem." I have tried to follow his example, but I find it much easier said than done.

Ronni, very few of us have the life-threatening worry that you face so how can we possibly know to what extent we would worry, but if worrying helps then go for it.

Until you get the good news we are all hoping for we passengers on your ship will keep hoping for wonderful news that the tumors have continued to shrink. Dare we hope they might miraculously disappear?

You have many many friends pulling for you and that has to be a positive.

Yes, this seems a normal sort of thing....worrying. We will be there with you even if the situation isn't at all in the normal range. Hugs.

My mother taught me to strive for being the Best, Outstanding, Number One Worrier in the whole wide world. I truly believe I that long ago, I met the goal she set for me.

Recently , I acquired a coffee mug which on three sides states "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles~~it empties today of its strength."

Today I find those words do slow down my racing worries, and I pass them along to you, Ronni ~~ the Ronni we know as wise, thoughtful and strong. Wishing you many peaceful, steady and strong moments~~own them.

Worry is magic.

I react exactly the same way & it seems that is not unusual, considering the rest of us from your fan-club!
Sending lots of GOOD VIBES your way.

Joining the worrying and good thoughts club.
And trying to cross fingers and toes for you like Claude. The toes are a bit difficult.
Sending love to a wonderful woman.

You will be in my prayers next week.

I come from a family of worriers and seem to have passed it on to my progeny. Still, I am trying to re-train my brain to not worry about a possible negative circumstance until it happens.

When my daughter was very little, she collapsed in tears on the city bus, thinking she had lost her favorite mittens. But, wait, I told her, maybe they are not lost, maybe you left them at home! Why don't you stop crying until we know if there is something to cry about? Sure enough, there WERE at home. Any worrying in advance would have been a waste of energy.

But I imagine it is extraordinarily hard, well-nigh impossible, not to worry in your situation, Ronni. Much more is at stake than a lost pair of mittens. So I hope for you that all your worry about this scan proves to be needless.

Holding you in my thoughts.

Ronni,
Yellowstone and I are with you for a "safe and harmless" journey.

Hugs to you.
Redstone

So, the CT scan next week, then waiting “...another week or so for the results”. You’ll have more time than you need to worry, so come up with lots of distractions as best you can. *smile*. Will keep tuning in here with wishes only for the best.

Worry can be such a crippling emotion Ronnie, and I ditto also what Simone said.

My mother used to say that it was pointless to worry because you won’t remember what you were worrying about tomorrow. Easier said than done.

But ... she had a little carved wooden bird which sat on her shelf and once when I visited her I saw the bird turned in the opposite direction. When I went to put it back she explained that this was her “worry bird” .... ??? .... she explained that she would turn it towards the window and let it do her worrying for her.

Today on reading this thread I wondered where she got the idea from, and sure enough Google provided the answer in the form of song which would have been on the radio when I was young.

A song by Gloria de Haven
“Let the worry bird worry for you”

💖💖💖

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."
… Leo Buscaglia

Sending you much love. I feel just the same about worrying. Admire you and your honesty. Love and hugs. Sali and Yaakov

Simone said it. We're here for you.

I know you will appreciate this, Ronni -- someone once told me (the origins are lost in time) that the Jewish philosophy of life is, "Expect the worst -- you might be pleasantly surprised."

🤞don’t know why but worry seems to b the prerequisite for good results. Here’s hoping but maybe we can share the worry burden so you can do less.

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