What Matters to Crabby Old Lady Today

Growing Old Plus The Alex and Ronni Show

What a terrific discussion you made of Wednesday's post from Crabby Old Lady. I mostly keep our distance on this blog from the constant turmoil from Trump – there is more than enough writing about him and his misplaced belief in his own genius.

As Susan began her comment:

”Dear Crabby Lady: Thanks so much for making me feel not so alone in the spikes of “omg, what is it going to take for someone to do something here?????!!!)”

“Making me feel not so alone”. There is nothing quite like talking with and listening to others to help us understand our predicament whether it is a dangerous president or growing old.

Talking with others applies to both our politics and our ageing. As I wrote in these pages a week or so ago,

”...it helps – a lot sometimes - to learn that other people are struggling through the same things you are. It doesn't mean we don't also laugh, read books, go to the movies and whatever else engages us that is still possible. But letting off steam together kind of clears the air.”

On The Alex and Ronni Show that my former husband and I recorded yesterday, we took opposite sides in our discussion of growing old. Alex sees the darker side; I take a lighter view of.

It's mid-afternoon and I'm tired so I will cut this short today.


Thanks be to the universe that there are elders who do look for the " lighter view"of aging and dying! Otherwise it's all about the body and the ego, a never ending list of complaints. We all need some complaining, for sure, or, at least, we need to voice what is happening on our often frightening journey. But I wish more elders would feel as free to consider and speak about what helps or blesses them, what engenders that feeling of gratitude in the gut.

Oh Salinda Dahl - I fear I am more Alex-like .. even tho' some 7 years younger! I think that those of us who struggle with not so much age/aging it's the other stuff that surrounds it .. illness, pain, fear of homelessness, etc. So while people think that growing older is lovely, I hope that we need to find a way to help others appreciate us and allow us to kvetch and do 'organ recitals' when necessary!

I agree. If you can't at least laugh about growing old, you are in trouble.

Absolutely, Joan. It took me a lot of years to come to the belief that elder organ recitals are useful but even if they were not, why not anyway?

As I thought about the negative and positive sides of growing old I have to admit that there are two sides to that equation; however, they are not equal and become more unbalanced as the years pile on.

I find that the older you get the good things become fewer and the bad things become more frequent and more limiting.

It's no longer possible to think that tomorrow will be better because you know you will be lucky if it isn't worse. And that's the worst part of becoming a classic (as one nurse proclaimed me to be). The hope for better days is gone, never to return. Pollyanna can be tossed in the dust bin.

Why do we talk about our illnesses so much? Perhaps because It's the most important thing going on in our lives. Nothing else takes precedence over how we feel. We also know that nobody wants to hear our organ recitals. Yet we are compelled to list the litany of symptoms and difficulties we face daily. It's as if in the telling, they might magically disappear. Or in the case of other elders suffering with us the old adage applies "Misery loves company."

Wow, just came over here after writing on my own blog about the gains and losses of aging.

I have to consciously move sometimes, mentally, to the gains as the losses can bring me so far down.

Thanks for this great post, Ronni, old age is portrayed so unrealistically by most of the media. You've always been a beacon.


Maybe it's my nursing background but I am interested in other's medical adventures/misadventures. We share stories, and find out that either I or someone I know has had the same thing. If we haven't had it yet, we may have it in the future. After commiserating, we both feel a little bit better. And frequently the conversation ends with a rueful laugh, "ain't it awful!".

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