A TGB READER STORY: Hot in Houston
Tuesday, 18 June 2019
By Fritzy Dean
Frank Billingsley, Channel 2’s weather man, is worried about me. Every afternoon he looks earnestly into the camera and tells me it’s hot. He adds that the elderly are especially vulnerable to the heat.
If I happen to check in with Channel 13 or Channel 11, they say the same thing. All of them think the hot weather is bad for me because I am old. They warn me to stay indoors where it is cooler.
The Mayor is also worried about me. He had a press conference to let me know it’s hot. He is so worried he has opened up “cooling centers” for me, in case my house is hot, too.
In addition, the Mayor hired a “Robo Telephone Guy” who calls me twice a day to tell me its hot and I am old and I need to stay inside. The Robo Call Guy even insists that I press ONE on my telephone to let The City of Houston know I got the message…..just in case I hadn’t realized its really hot.
He sounds like the male cousin of Siri:
“This is The City of Houston with a heat advisory. Houston is experiencing triple digit heat and you elderly should take precautions.”
Then today, just an hour ago, I got an email from TXU, my energy company, and they are saying how happy they are that I dialed it up a notch. They complimented me on the fact that I keep my house a little warmer than Siberia and, thus, I have helped control energy usage.
I am trying my elderly best to comply with the instructions from Frank and Tim and David and Mayor Turner and TXU. It’s really lovely of them, all of them, to be so concerned. I am grateful they want me to know it is hot in Houston.
[EDITORIAL NOTE: Reader's stories are welcome. If you have not published here or not recently, please read submission instructions. Only one story per email.]
Duh! Did any of them offer to bring you a cold drink?
It's hot... altho not triple hot... in Raleigh also.
Posted by: Trudi | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 06:17 AM
Very funny - I can relate to your satire, Fritzy Dean. It's darned hot in Tucson, too.
Posted by: Darlene Costner | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 06:33 AM
I’m in Houston too and can vouch for the veracity of Frank, David, Tim, and Mayor T!!!
Posted by: Florence | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 07:03 AM
People love to point things out -- not necessarily do too much about them, but point out the bloody obvious -- especially to, you know, those of us who are older and may be addled-brained or might have lost our sensitivities. Thanks for transforming one such warning into this humorous story to which many of us can relate.
Posted by: Cathy J. | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 07:03 AM
Thanks for Hot in Houston. It's great to start a day with a big smile !!!
Posted by: Pat | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 08:26 AM
Great story! Once again the ancient adage is reinforced: Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Posted by: Gabbygeezer | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 09:00 AM
Thanks for the chuckle this morning.
For me, I awoke today realizing the air was full of something smelly in a noxious way, and I'm supposedly on the county vector call list when there's a spraying. I've since called them and also the county next to me to enroll in their program as the house is close to the county line. And, you know, air tends to drift over lines and all.
Stay cool all of you in those hot spots!
Posted by: Simone | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 09:18 AM
Well, that was fun! Thanks for the smiles. It's pretty hot here in North Carolina too, they should tell elders to get out and do their gardening and outdoor work first thing in the morning. And drink lots and lots of water. And then go in the house and turn up the AC so that the energy company can make lots of money.
Posted by: Salinda Dahl | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 09:30 AM
unfortunately, many elderly -- even those with all their marbles -- are no longer sensitive to the heat, so they'll think they are fine -- and bang, down they go with heat stroke. I think all these PSAs are nice, but from my experience, the folks that may need the reminder, think it doesn't apply to them. And you can have too much of a good thing. But all of us old folk should take heed because are personal thermostats might be on the fritz.
Posted by: diane mcdonnell | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 10:23 AM
😂
But, yay Houston. I am in southwest Florida where we are breaking past temperature records, but no mention/advice for the ‘elderly’. Why not? That’s the majority of us in SW Fl!
Posted by: Jean | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 10:36 AM
Gee, Fritzie, you might not remember, being an old person, that it's really hot.
Posted by: Charlotte Dahl | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 11:05 AM
Isn't this ageism? LOL
Posted by: Bonnie | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 01:29 PM
Thanks Fritzie for the chuckle! Maybe try not pressing one for the robo call, wonder what that would mean :-)
Posted by: Kate R | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 01:56 PM
Advice is not much help. A lower electric bill would be great. Or a super powerful new central air conditioner. Or both. Nothing but crickets when I complain that of course I'm using more electricity than my neighbors. They're all at work in the heat of the day. I'm here all day trying my darnedest to keep the house cool. And still the rates keep going up.
Posted by: Susan R | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 02:20 PM
That was fun! They do take care of y’all in Texas. Here in Atlanta, or Hotlanta, it’s also hot, and they tell us not to jog under the noonday sun …
Posted by: vagabonde | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 02:44 PM
Well, I think you are lucky to have such a caring environment. Here in Woodland CA it hit 105 today, and no one called or emailed ME to let me know to be careful! It is still a kind of "let's hope nobody croaks" approach the way it's been for over 100 years here. I guess it is a reflection of those right-wing Republican attitudes, kind of a Social Darwinism - if you are too senile to stay cool, then you should die. Now, if only they would apply that thinking to the street people who want handouts so they can keep crapping on the sidewalks . . .
Yes, I'm feeling very grumpy today.
Posted by: Mary Symmes | Tuesday, 18 June 2019 at 11:53 PM
Thank you, every one who took time to comment. I am glad I manageded to give some of you a smile. AND I can report-it is STILL Hot In Houston!
Posted by: Fritzy Dean | Friday, 21 June 2019 at 05:45 PM
You have nailed it again, dear Fritzy. Hating the heat but dreading the forthcoming double H’s: heat and hurricanes. Hopefully we will escape the latter this year.
Posted by: Cordelia | Friday, 21 June 2019 at 09:24 PM
I had the pleasure of seeing Fritzy present HOT in person at the Ensemble Theater.....it was the end of the year presentations for one of her writing groups. We all loved this one! Kudos Fritzy. Keep writing and making us laugh.
Posted by: Mary | Saturday, 22 June 2019 at 10:50 AM
Fritzy, you're still the best. I'm glad you realized it was hot outdoors and perhaps you should stay inside and write some more funny postings. Oh, by the way, it's hot in Sun City West, AZ but not as hot as it's going to be. Summer has just started and we consider June as still part of our Spring! Which is also hot... Another good laugh from my friend Fritzy.
Posted by: kay beneke | Wednesday, 26 June 2019 at 08:52 PM
Although I no longer live in Houston, I miss it very much. Well, maybe not the long and very hot summers. I live in Ohio now where we are having unprecedented and unending rain!! The friends I have made here ask me a lot about living in Texas - and usually comment that Texas doesn't have the seasons the northeast enjoys. I always tell them that Texas does have four seasons - January, February, March and summer. No place is perfect, but Texas will always be home.
Posted by: Judith DuBose | Saturday, 29 June 2019 at 08:03 PM