Those Bogus Cancer Cures
The Alex and Ronni Show – 23 October 2019

A TGB READERS STORY: Not Your Father’s Old Geezer

By Jack Handley

I have a certain reputation at the Senior Center which I discovered by overhearing a conversation:

SPEAKER NO. 1: "You bring up any subject and Jack Handley has something to say about it."

SPEAKER NO. 2: "Yeah, too much."

Which stabbed me with a twinge of embarrassment until I recognized the truth of the matter, which is that I know a lot of things that have never come to the attention of less favored men.

For instance, my pocket knife, a version of which I have carried since I was eight (when I discovered with delight that it was called a Jack knife) contains three blades which are named the spey, the clip and the sheepsfoot.

The reason I know a lot of wayward things is that I have experienced a lot of events in a wayward way.

I was born a Depression baby in the shadow of the 19th century, yet in the foreglow of World War II. My Grandpa Creore gave me six clay marbles which survived from his boyhood in 1870.

My father spoke of having witnessed the last fire horse team in southern Michigan eagerly clip-clop to their stations in front of the steaming engine and the thrill he felt when their harnesses dropped onto their shivering backs.

My first memory was being awakened to eat boiled new potatoes which my father had somehow foraged. It was dark outside but I had probably been fed oatmeal and put to bed early, then gotten up by my despairing parents to share their tiny joy.

I learned later that at the time he was being paid 25 cents a ton to break up frozen coal and shovel it out of a snow topped hopper car from a Pennsylvania coal train.

I made my first telephone call from a wood, wall-mounted Kellogg telephone, standing on a stool to reach the downward turned mouthpiece, holding the receiver in my left hand, and cranking the little handle with my right to send the magneto-generated ringing signal down the line.

Two years later, I clamped radio headphones against my ears to listen to Edward R. Murrow's broadcast from blitzed London and was transfixed when he opened the studio window to let in the chimes of Big Ben and noise of the sirens and the exploding bombs.

A year later, I and the other school kids enrolled in the “war effort” and roamed the countryside looking to fill our empty onion sacks with milkweed pods because of a shortage of Kapok for life vests.

During those war years of the 40s the antique past continued to intrude. I mowed hay with a modern hydraulic-drawbar Ford tractor pulling a 1913 horse-drawn McCormack mower. At the end of each windrow I had to raise the cutter bar by pulling rope connected to a cobbled up lever-pulley arrangement on the ancient machine, making travesty of Ford's farm implement engineering but building mighty biceps in my 12 year-old arms.

In the evening, after listening to the war news, I dribbled little solder balls onto the heads of sewing pins and painted them different colors to use as map pins, which were unavailable - as most everything was - because, as you constantly heard, "there was a war on."

Even after V-E Day and throughout my high school years, 19th century thrift and depression frugality ruled our rural household and those about. I salvaged lumber and extracted the forged nails, called "cut" nails, and pounded them straight for reuse in our house and barn which had been built with them.

After the war I took up radios again and went to the Big City of Detroit to take my ham radio license examination. I built a SW radio and transmitter largely from parts scrounged from the township dump which I had long visited as part of my childhood search for adventure.

My puny five-watt transmitter connected me to several ill-tempered veteran hams but impressed my father to such an extent that he allowed me to run an antenna from my bedroom window sill out to the barn, despite the threat of lightning.

Throughout my childhood and well into my college years, I continued to investigate farms and woods and barns and discover iron-age tools and old men who remembered seeing them used. Some I found in my father's old and forgotten musty wood tool boxes in the basement: draw shaves, horse shoe pliers, a Collins monkey wrench, augers, wood gouges.

A long time since, but 30 years back from now, my wife and I were visiting a small old-timey museum in California's gold country where a school bus had unloosed a horde of noisy but already bored middle schoolers, yet ungrouped.

As we walked by the exhibits I remarked on several I hadn't seen in 50 years, some of which I had used. Sensitive to mansplaining, and well aware of my wife's regard for my "rusty iron" crotchet, I kept in check my shock of recognition and the enthusiasm it engendered.

Still, who can point to and name a hand-operated grain fanning mill and not explain what it was, and how it was used? Or shingle maker's stool and vice?

A young man followed us, shyly listening. As my wife and I approached the exit, he introduced himself. He was a teacher, he had been assigned to lead a group of the youngsters through the exhibits, and wanted to know if I would accompany him and explain them to his students.

I proposed that, instead, I would take him on a whirlwind tour, brief him on names and uses, and give him “compare and contrasts” with modern successors which would provide him with the basis of teacherly authority.

So, I gave him what computer people at the time called a "core dump".

That experience taught me that colorful and lightly illustrated stories work better than an old man's fond and rambling recollection.

* * *

[EDITORIAL NOTE: Reader's stories are welcome. If you have not published here or not recently, please read submission instructions. Only one story per email.]



Comments

What a wonderful read... I'm glad Jack could be helpful to that young teacher, but I very much enjoyed his fond recollections too. I wish my grandma (both raised & brought up 5 kids on a farm during the Great Depression & WWII ) was still here to enjoy this.

I love this! I've been reading about how they built the Erie Canal in the early 1800s, and I'm stunned again and again by the brute strength, manual tools, and ingenuity involved.

Fascinating! Thanks so much for writing!

Jack, your knowledge and memories need to be shared. Think about how much you could offer to history museums, StoryCorps, and schools. Wow!

Jack, it was such fun to read your story today! I would love to see more... you describe, so well, incidents that I can almost smell and touch.

Thank you!

Delightful!

Jack, i loved your story. I agree that this info should be used somehow. I suggest you try youtube . Also suggest you seek out the National building museum in washington dc

Please write again. Your descriptions are so clear and interesting.

Thanks for writing.

I agree with earlier posts! Thanks for writing.

This was wonderful reading, and reminded me so much of my father, born in 1921. He never met an old tool, engine, crooked nail or piece of scrap wood he didn't love. And it seems each find would remind him of a story or incident from his past. I'd give anything to hear one of those stories again!

Jack, keep talking!
I am writing a scrapbook for my now-middle-aged son in which I helpfully explain what coffee shops (not Starbucks) and railroads (not light rail) once were. I used to nag my own grandparents for exactly this kind of detail, but of course, they couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to know about the bad old days.
There's still so much I wish I could ask them!

Wonderful stories!

What can I add? Not a thing, excellent story teller.

Jack, I absolutely loved every single word of your piece.

Felt like we were sitting in Ronni's roadside diner, you quietly talking, Ronni's friends leaning forward anticipating the next scene.

Thank you!

Thanks Jack for your memories. You are an excellent writer and I also would enjoy reading more from you.

Jack, we're probably the same age - I think I love you! Wanna meet for coffee?

Jack, You are a talented story teller! Please share more with Ronni's readers. Don't give it ALL to these old geezera at the community Center---give your talent with words and images to US, who will appreciate them. More, please!

Wonderful story-telling. You put me in mind of my granddad's scythe which he'd hone on a special stone and he'd mow that back meadow in what seemed like a heartbeat, like a dancer he was, I would sit and watch him, well out of harm's way. To this day I love old tools and their long gone uses.

XO
WWW

I was raised by an aunt who was born in San Francisco in 1903 and awed me with stories of running past the firehouse on her way home from school, afraid if there were a fire, she would trip on the cobblestones and be run over by the horses pulling the engines. Thank you for this wonderful piece.

I really enjoyed reading your story. I hope you continue to share your knowledge.

Please write more stories for us.

I had to add my thanks. This was a wonderful piece of work, of nostalgia, of life. I sincerely appreciate your writing, and by extension, YOU.

How wise and humble, transferring this knowledge to the teacher who will pass it on over and over again.

What a story, Jack.
I was born as WW2 started, on a farm without electricity. I have many of the same memories; driving a Ford tractor for a neighbour the summer I turned 8, cranking the phone,etc. The fanning mill episode reminded me of a terrible use of the machine
I visited a holocaust museum in Paris this summer. One exhibit was a fanning mill that was used by the Nazis to separate the the ash from the cremated remains and mix them up so none could be identified later. A searing reminder that we must remain vigilant.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)