What It's Like to be Dying
INTERESTING STUFF – 16 November 2019

Some Satisfactory Health News

Satisfactory? Did I say that in the headline? Well, yes I did. It is a long way from earth-shattering but good nonetheless.

Here's the news: On Monday, I had a CT scan to see what the cancer has been doing. On Wednesday, the oncologist said the scan shows the lesions in my lung and peritoneum have grown a small amount, something just over a centimeter.

Given my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, that is good news. I've had no chemotherapy since the last CT scan three months ago and the cancer hasn't changed much in that time. Plus, no cancer is evident in other organs.

I'm not too proud to admit that I wept in relief - just a little bit but not until I was in the car. And that heavy, dark cloud I had been dragging around with me early this week lifted.

Those two days between the CT scan every three months and learning the results are a bear to get through emotionally.

It's not that I don't believe the cancer will kill me eventually or that I don't know I've already beaten the odds by surviving a year-and-a-half beyond average after diagnosis.

But if you don't count the COPD breathing problem and low energy it causes, I feel like a normal, non-sick person.

In fact, without intention I have put on enough extra weight in the past month or so that I need to diet off some of it.

Almost all pancreatic cancer patients can barely maintain their weight which was true of me until recently. The doctor has no idea why that changed but suggested I count my blessings. No kidding.

And that's all I have to say today. I have had appointments away from home every day this week that will continue into next week and I'm worn out already. I need some unscheduled, quiet time.

No need to comment on this post. Mainly, I just wanted to fill up the page so I can read or nap or whatever else I want for a couple of days without anyone thinking something terrible has happened.



Comments

Happy to hear that dear Ronny. A big hug from Guanajuato , México.

You may not see a need for comments, but I suspect many receiving this news will want to share their happiness at hearing it. So glad to know that you are doing so well that you actually have to diet!

Tearing up in Tel Aviv on your update. And, grateful since 2004 for our “meeting” on TGB and for every post since.

So happy to hear this!

So happy to hear this. And no shame at all to have cried in relief, who wouldn't have done the same?

I am wondering if you have watched The Farewell (for rent on Amazon and other places) and whether you might like to.

I must add my applause to your news... thanks for sharing, and thanks for your posts which I so look forward to receiving!

Yahoo !!

Now take a well deserved break.

Glad you took the time to write this down. You day to day moments have captured my own thought process about aging and living while dying. While several of your posts have compiled me to respond, I have not taken the time until today. I have been a long time lurker of your blog, but first time commenter! Thank you for coming into my inbox consistently and making me feel, think, and learn through your stories.

Relief felt here too, Ronni, for I value your "TimeGoesBy" so much.

You commented there was no need to comment on this post....well Lady, that has never held me back in my entire life I'm embarrassed to say, I'll blame it on genetics! :-)

You said... "I'm not too proud to admit that I wept in relief ". For me tears are the messenger of the soul. Those who cannot, or will not cry, likely don't allow other feelings to the surface either.

I always feel grateful when I can let go enough to have the fabled "good cry". Maybe you too, for tears are the messenger of the soul, dear lady, and sometimes it tells us what we need to know....a long past grief or even a happiness or feeling of tenderness for someone I don't even know.

I would like to share a brief bit of verse..."A Report on a Situation" by Phyllis McGinley. ( won a Pulitzer in the 60s rarely given for a collection of verse.)

"REPORT ON A SITUATION"

Tears at midnight stain the pillow
Tears at morning puff the eye
Twilight tears are brief and shallow,
easy summoned, quick to dry.
Saltier string those tears, they say,
NEVER shed by night or day
...Phyllis McGinley.

And warm regards from a 'wanna-be cry baby',
C.

That's really good news! Thanks for telling us.

You continue to inspire with sharing news whether not so good or GREAT!

As with all your thoughts, aging or otherwise, would very much wish to hear what you think about the impeachment hearings. You always seem to get straight to heart of things...political things especially.

But, take a break and celebrate your good health news.

Yes, thanks for telling us before resting! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! I would think the weight gain tells the happy story. Onward and upward Ronni.

Congrats Ronni!! For the rest of your tome, as my father-in-law says, "Sometimes I wish I had a regular job so I could have two days a week off.". B

Yeah!! We are all cheering for you.

But we will comment because we share your joy. Yay! Hugs to you!

Wonderful news, Ronni. Have a great weekend.

You made my day with that good news. Relax and enjoy some quiet time.
Mary

Your great news makes me so happy!

Luci

Good news! We all are so happy to hear!

Hugs!
M

Waiting for results is the pits. Getting good news is wonderful! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Gaining weight seems like a great indication of a positive trend, indeed. In my limited experience, I've never seen this with pancreatic cancer (I'm not a doctor :) , but I've never known any that were relatively long term survivors until now. Wonderful news.

Yay Ronnie! Get some resr.

Ronni, that's great to read!

Hoo-RAY! Such good news.

This is exactly the post where we should comment! We love to share your good health news. So happy for you & all who love you.

Fingers crossed you keep getting this kind of news in the future.

So happy. For you. For us. And do take time before starting your diet to celebrate with a bowl of ice cream. We raise our spoons to you!


Fanfare of trumpets!

Loud applause!

Sending you hugs from Pittsburgh, Ronni! Your good news is our good news :)

Great news!!
Enjoy the next few days and savor the good news you received.
A deep sigh of relief from all your loyal readers.

WAHHH! Fabulous news! And good for you, those tears wash the soul clean, keep 'em coming! Especially, I hope for you more tears of joy. More ice cream! You can diet tomorrow................or the day after. Many blessings, always. Rock on.

Great news!! Thanks for sharing ! I’m tearing up with you. Enjoy a restful weekend.

No need to comment, but hugs anyway, Ronni!

MAZEL TOV!

I’m weeping in relief and joy for you!

After reading your positive post...

*puts tablet aside, chooses CD, selects song*

Tina Turner

"You're simply the best."

XOXO

I'm so happy to read the good news! Blessings, dear Ronni! XOXO

Thanks for letting us know you're alive. Good news!

Yay!! We can feel your relief! I hope that you continue to savor the feeling & do something very special for yourself. You certainly deserve it!

You see how many of us completely ignored your saying there was no need to comment! 😊. Obviously we are as stubborn as you are, dear Ronni.

Nothing better for you than a good cry. We should all do it more often.

Hooray! I am a doctor, and I think it would be wise to hang on to a bit of exra weight. For reserve.

Excellent! and I agree with Nan the doctor - hang onto that weight.

Three cheers - and more! - for your great news, Ronni! Now relax and enjoy your continuing life!

Cheers from FL

I'm glad to hear this news. I'm engrossed in the impeachment hearings these days. I'll just keep my mouth shut about what I think since I know Time Goes By has a mixed readership comprising those who would agree with me and those who are hopelessly ill-informed. Just kidding! Sort of...

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