Attitudes Toward Old Age
INTERESTING STUFF – 7 December 2019

The Alex and Ronni Show – 4 December 2019

Here we are again, my former husband Alex and I in another Skype chat recorded on Wednesday.

We covered a whole lot of territory this week. Thanksgiving. Meeting the son this late in life that I gave up for adoption 50-odd years ago. My sometime resemblance to the actor Shirley MacLaine and a funny story about that.

Then there's Alex's hypochondria which, he says, has driven all his wives nuts. (I'll confirm that – at last in my case.) Of course we got round to cancer, Medicare, some thing stuff and Alex's upcoming 80th birthday.

Some of you are kind enough to tell me you enjoy these chats. I think they are maybe a bit much. But hey, we live in the age of the internet where everyone is center stage.

You can find Alex's show – Alex Bennett's Ramble – on Facebook and Apple Podcasts.

Comments

Always enjoy the 'Alex & Ronni Show'--Ronni, you've never sounded better (but I sure hope Alex gets over his laryngitis soon). I'm glad to hear you got to spend Thanksgiving with your biological son, but this is the third time in a week that I heard someone had prime rib over turkey for the holiday--I didn't know that was a 'thing'.

I enjoy the Alex and Ronni chats very much. I've been following your blog for years, Ronni, and now I enjoy following Alex on GABNet, too. Both of you so smart and funny -- two of my favorite peeps.

Good to see your smiling face this morning. Love seeing you 'live." I've had COPD for several years now. Slowing down was the hardest thing for me to learn. I still sometimes forget and end up leaning on something stopped in my tracks. Mostly it's when I'm with other people, it took me awhile to ask them to slow down and kindly they do.

I'm hoping my family can try something else besides turkey for Thanksgiving. The idea of a plank of salmon made my mouth water.

You could always use the term offspring. Or progeny. One could go on and on.

It would be good to have a term that conveys the complex relationship of being the parent or grandparent of a child who was given up for adoption. My oldest grandchild was raised by adoptive parents who I call their Mother and Father and they are terrific parents.
My daughter made her address known to the adoption agency when the child was 18 and they did contact us. It is so good to know them as an adult but I feel the need to explain the circumstances. It would be easier to have a one word explanation. We use biological parent.
I think it’s great you can have Thanksgiving with your son.

You have the greatest laugh. Love hearing everything you have to say.

I always think you and Alex are a lot of fun! Can't remember, did he go to Cal? I'm around his age, and I was there . . .

But I want to comment on your point about earning motherhood. Some of us were brought up by biological mothers who simply weren't able to really love. My mother's standard description of her parenting style was "conscientious." And that was about right. But she left out the mood swings, the rage, the insults, the constant belittling . . . So, even though I think she did the best that she could, I belong to a large group of people for whom the mothers who raised them did at least as much damage as good. You seem to me like the kind of person who would've been a lot warmer.

P.S. I notice you've got that wonderful photo of the Sutro Baths over your mantelpiece. It's such a fabulous shot, and I too had it on one of my walls for years and years.

You and your son making contact after all these years may well have had a result most searching adoptees seek — including satisfying curiosity, finding acceptance vs any possible rejection concerns, an opportunity for him to learn of blood relatives. I think it must be courageous for adult children to actually contact a birth parent after receiving DNA information.

I recall seeing a news story special on one of the Big Three Networks in the past year or two that had followed a number of adults who had been given up at birth, were adopted, then in recent years pursued trying to find their birth parent(s). Also, I personally know of someone who did so, too, finally locating family in another country. Circumstances of conception and birth are not always inviting for making contact.

Some in the TV special segment found mothers welcoming them; also recall a father who was pleased to find child as never knew of pregnancy or birth of that child. There was another father who had raised children with his wife but did not know of some she had during their marriage and had secretively given up for adoption — said he never knew she was even pregnant with them. Most poignantly to me was the clearly disappointed adult son who located his birth mother who through her sister strongly rejected any contact with him. Life can be complicated and unpredictable.

I’m with Kate.

My mother suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. While she tried her best, life for her was fraught with emotional distress, paranoia, and rage filled bitterness that she felt free to begin revealing to me at a tender age. (Rather amusing to consider that people with Borderline Personality Disorder have no boundaries, no borders, if you will.)

I’d take meeting warm, funny, kind you in my fifties over what I dealt with for 64 years any day.

Thanks for sharing the stories, love the Alex hypochondria and your Thanksgiving with your new found son and his family.
I think Shirley McClain would deny she was Shirley McClain.

I've been enjoying your chats with Alex for months now. Was a huge fan of his (even when I didn't agree with him) when he was on the radio in San Francisco and one day just Googled him and eventually found your blog and videos. Truly enjoyable - I love the banter between the two of you! You are looking fabulous, Ronni. Looking forward to many more Alex and Ronni Skype chats!

By the way, if Alex ever decides he wants to search for that child, I'd be happy to guide him. I've worked on several successful searches, using DNA and other resources.

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