ELDER MUSIC: Introductions
A TGB READER STORY: Still Life With Banana and Avocado

Internet Friends Redux and The A & R Show

To my surprise, Friday's post about disappearing internet friends drew a lot more comment that I would have expected. It appears to be a common problem, losing track of web friends.

It was lovely to hear from so many readers who are still here but who don't comment. There is nothing wrong with that; no one should feel obligated to leave a comment. Here are some notes after re-reading through the comments starting with

Some people mentioned they do not like entering their information every time they want to comment; some others don't have the problem. That is because autofill (or not) is a function of your browser. Plus, new privacy restrictions have recently gone into effect which may have removed your autofill.

Every browser handles privacy issues differently. You can find out how to change your autofill settings by searching “how to enable autofill in firefox”. Substitute the name of your browser (chrome, safari, etc.) for firefox.

I am surprised to find out how many of you have been reading Time Goes By since I lived in Manhattan, followed along when I moved to Portland, Maine, and then to Oregon in 2010. That is so nice to hear.

A few who have not commented in a long while wondered if I would remember their names and in every case, I do – it is terrific to see you here again.

I was pleased to be able to put one reader together with another to find out what had happened to a third person they both know.

Regarding my demise, I have a blog post written titled, If You're Reading This, I'm Dead. When I first wrote it, I meant to update it every year but I think I've fallen behind on that and I'll put it on my to-do list.

My good friend, healthcare proxy and executor, Autumn, will post that entry when I die. You might recall her keeping you updated in June of 2017 when I'd had the Whipple surgery and was out of commission for a week or so.

People who have blogs, Facebook pages or some other social media presence can set up something similar. It's everyone else – the people who comment but don't have an online space of their own that we lose track of and I don't have a solution for that.

Thank you to everyone who finds this online place to be worth your time. After all these years, I still enjoy doing it and even more, reading each day what you have to say.

THE ALEX AND RONNI SHOW – 25 January 2020
Alex and I recorded this episode on Saturday, the only day we were both available at the same time. (I thought retirement means you aren't so busy anymore...)

We covered more territory that we usually do: pockets (or lack thereof) in clothing, health (typical old people talk), racism, Alex's beard, hair loss, the impeachment trial and so on.

Here it is:

You can find Alex's show – Alex Bennett's Ramble – on Facebook and Apple Podcasts.


I am busier retired than when I worked full time. I can't find enough time in a day to do my projects. I'm definately not bored! Sometimes I wish I was still working so I would have a
real schedule to follow. My wife is also surprised at how busy we are. The column is great to read each day as are the comments. I hope the final comment is some ways off.

I have been reading your posts for years and you have no idea who I am and I have never commented! I have even saved several of your columns for future reference. So a deep thank you bow from one of your invisible ones.

Pockets yes!

You can designate someone to Memoralize your FB page, after you die it will say in Memorial or something, when looking for friends for our highschool reunion, it was sad to find one of those, and I researched contacted a sister of hers to find out what happened.
Have a good week...stay well,

Enjoyed today’s show, it seemed more light-hearted than recent previous ones (but I like the serious stuff too). The “hair theory” was interesting, I just heard that very thing yesterday (boys inherit their maternal grandfather’s hair). We’ll never know in my family, my mom’s dad died very young, in his twenties when she was only 4 years old. All I know is, I still have my hair (though it’s mostly silver) and my brother who is 5 years younger went bald several years ago. I’m positive we have the same mom :)

Alex, I'll be thinking good wishes your way this week while you undergo your radiation treatments. Thanks for the fun show today, guys.

I am still here and I read you every time you post. Like many, I save some of the posts that seem to touch me almost directly - many, in fact, do just that. I am also a member of a few Facebook groups, 3 or 4, and don't post to them, either. It's not that I am a "lurker" (is that a word), its more that I have never been a very good "joiner"....not even in the "real" world. But, thank you for every single word you write, as every single word you write seems to resonate with me on any one of several levels. Thank you for all you do.......I admire your commitment and passion and how you articulate your personal struggles, observations, and even the political views, which I share.

Yes, pockets! I wear a wristwatch, never stopped doing so because I am insane about being on time. I have to keep track of time when reading stories to first graders so I am vigilant with wearing the watch.

I always wear navy pants with pockets when I to read to the first graders as I can keep my iPhone in my pocket. I have a smaller phone than the newer ones. Not too sure what will happen when I must upgrade as the newer ones are so big and won't fit in my dress slacks' pocket.

Sorry but that man is SO self-centred 🥱

I have also been reading for quite awhile and don't leave a comment. I appreciate your honesty and humor!

Enjoyed your show today, you guys are such good fun.
After reading your piece on ghosting I followed up on several friends who have not seen in a while on Facebook. Turns out they are fine, they have just stopped posting as frequently. Then I realized that I, too, have stopped posting as frequently. In the past, I would post day-by-day photos of a vacation or a home repair project. Not now.
My guess is that a lot of people may be turned off by the bad press that FB has received lately. That bad press has certainly chilled my interaction with them.
Sort of takes the fun out of what has been a pleasant diversion.
Anyway, I enjoy knowing that Time Goes By will usually be there. Thank you for your work.

I'm late in posting this comment but I want you to know how much I love reading your blog and watching the Alex and Ronni videos. I've followed your blog since 2010!

I rarely comment, but I’ve been reading since your New York days. I too have saved several of your posts for future reference.

I too, have been with you since New York days and both moves. I did my share of commenting under the name of Arby, but email changes, a move have been complicating things for the past two years. Ive learned so much from your honesty over the years and am the wiser elder about myself from it all. I have thanked you more than once and now I do it again.... with gratitude for you sharing your life with all of us. And I cried when you found your son again. I send Blessings to you in the midst of all your illness.

Thank you Ronni! I’ve been enjoying your blog since around 2008. Although I comment infrequently, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have learned a great deal from you and your commenters. I often pass along your blog to friends and share some on Facebook. Haven’t heard anything from Darlene in a long time. Hope she’s okay. You are an inspiration to all!

I think it's great that your "If You're Reading This, I'm Dead." blog post has been sitting around so long that it needs to be updated!

Like others, I also have been reading since you lived in NYC. I am a New Yorker who moved west to Washington State over 40 years ago. I actually still often identify myself as a New Yorker - it never leaves you. I rarely post but have always enjoyed how well you do your research and also your wise observations. Thank you for that.

I found you in 2004 or 2005 and, because you already had a zillion commenters/readers/friends at the time, thought you had been blogging for a decade. Your Friday posting brought out comments from at least 20 bloggers who go 'way back, but with whom I've all but lost touch. It's nice to read their comments and to know that they are still around. Thanks for all of your postings and wise words, Ronni.

Ronnie- I like clean shaven men too. I especially hate when they put this style in magazines
and think it's sexy. Gosh! Keep telling him to shave!

I solved the pockets problem years ago by NEVER wearing any clothing without pockets (unless it's a special dress for accepting the Nobel). I do actually have a skirt or dress with pockets, but I never wear them, I wear slacks, and I don't wear pocketless slacks, either. One pocket for dog treats, one for the phone and the keys.

Mostly I wear slacks, some jeans around the house now, but buy only those with pockets, likewise for sweaters or jackets. I seldom have need for the kind of dresses, outfits I used to wear, but most never had pockets which, I agree, could be most inconvenient. Reminds me of the problem finding a place to stash summer gloves a well-dressed woman was obliged to wear, or carry years ago. Thank heavens that bit of style ended.

Last genetic science I read, affixing the baldness inheritance source was a complicated process so couldn’t lay it at feet of any one family member as much as some seem to want to do.

You and I, we're both still here and I couldn't be happier. Thank you for all of your truth and love.

For the record, stenosis is the abnormal narrowing of a passage in the body....can be blood vessels, the openings in your spine, etc. ...and I never stopped wearing a watch. It's always 'right there', and I don't have to hunt for it. I'm with you on the pocket thing, Ronni! I guess they think women's pants look sleeker without them, but I like jeans/slacks with decent-sized pockets! Of course I'm an old lady, so practicality beats 'fashion' for me most of the time!

Alex, I had also heard, in the past, that baldness is inherited from the mother's father, but online research indicates that it ain't necessarily so...it's not so simple: "The androgen receptor gene, located on the X chromosome, is one of the genes associated with male-pattern baldness. Because a man's X chromosome is inherited from his mother, there is a 50% chance it is inherited from his maternal grandmother and not his maternal grandfather. Furthermore, this gene is only one of many genes that can be used as a predictor of male-pattern baldness. Since other predictive genes are not located on the X chromosome, a man can inherit them from his father."

I have been reading your blog for several years and have appreciated every column. It never occurred to me to comment, as I felt like I had nothing to contribute. However, a big thank you is in order for all of the wonderful things I've learned from you, including your insight into confronting the challenges of growing older and coping with disease.

At 58 years old, my mother has died. Your unapologetic approach to your life, your age, your health, are so much like my mother's were. In her absence, you remind me to stay strong, stay curious and accept who you are.

So even though, I don't comment please know that someone is out here, reading your words and taking to heart what you offer in each one of your columns.

Beautifully said, Jessie Ann Mehl.

Thank you for offering your perspective, your insight and your gratitude to Ronni's blog.

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