Two Topics : M.A.I.D. Drugs and Sitting
Surprise!

A TGB READER STORY: On Being Alone

By Henry Lowenstern

I have always been surrounded
by family and friends.
As a child, I had an older brother
who after me would tend.
When I came to America,
I lived with my cousin
who taught me to speak English
and to avoid anyone who doesn't.
In the Army, I was never alone,
nor in college, on my own.
Then, came a lovely love affair,
marriage, children and a home where
for 67 years, I was never on my own,
until Marki passed away
and left me alone
and lonely.

* * *

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Comments

Thank you, Henry, for sharing your tender words. You gave me one of the fabled "good cries" as my life now is very much like your own. I have learned that  unshed tears are not helpful. I was still in high school when I came upon this in an old magazine and was charmed by the final verse, even as a teenager in the 50s. Your memoir brought it to mind again.

"When first my way to fair I took"

 When first my way to fair I took 
Few pence in purse had I,
And long I used to stand and look 
At things I could not buy.
Now times are altered: if I care 
To buy a thing, I can;
The pence are here and here's the fair, 
But where's the lost young man?
To think that two and two are four 
And neither five nor three
The heart of man has long been sore 
And long 'tis like to be.
Alfred Edward Housman (1859-1936) ,  from Last Poems, no. 35, published 1922 

Henry,

Your lovely words stuck a chord. Many of us ae lonely these days, especially. I , for one,
am grateful for the community of readers of Ronni's blog. I read Time Goes By first thing and usually get something :: sometimes it is information I need, sometimes it is a laugh, today is is a sweet sad nostalgia for the past. We are here, Henry . Right along with you.

This definitely hit a chord with me...the loneliness..

Seems like there is a point in our lives where loneliness is hardest when we realize that our ability to start over, to form new relationships, is nearly impossible and then we simply have to deal with it. Memories are our constant companion from then on out and are nice to have and thankful for them.

I am empathizing very much! My husband is in a care center, on hospice; and despite loving friends and family, this is a very lonely time, especially during the pandemic!

This is a lovely little piece and quite sad. It certainly must be difficult for you if you have been used to having so many people around. I was an only child and came to America alone. My husband of 52 years died after a 10 year illness with Alzheimer and I live by myself with my cat, but I don’t feel lonely or alone. There are so many books I have a not read, so many pieces of music I have not listened to.

I have a small backyard and had 6 trees planted (since I can’t garden) I water them often because of our warm southern weather. I spend a lot of time looking at all the weeds, wild flowers, the butterflies and birds. There are new wild things growing all the time – a small rabbit comes too. In a way after all those years I am happy to have space to enjoy the freedom and nature. Since 1965 I have been a Buddhist and look to the philosophy for the contentment it gives me. In a way in my backyard I feel like Henry David Thoreau and his pond - nature is here for us and so much to discover still, a blue sky, a lovely ray of sun, a light wind. I hear what you say and sympathize, but I can’t imagine how it must feel. I am confined away from people and adapting well, not bored and think I am happy – so I must be (even alone.)

I learned there is no free pass from much in life. There is nothing unique about me to expect one. I have buried two wonderful men, my husband's. One very early at 42 and second a few years ago. I accept the cards I've been dealt and move forward memories are always there to snatch from my memory, emotional box. I'm alone but not lonely. It's up to me for the answers and I've found many things over the years to fill my "needs" box. May smooth happier days come your way. Thank you for sharing.

Your words are very tender and honest Henry, and I hope that you are coping with the pain and grief they express. I wish there were something that we could do for one another as sentient beings, to ease each other's sorrow and pain, but so often there is not, other than listening and sympathizing. Each of our sad situations is different and unique to each of us. I hope you know that there are many here thinking of you and wishing you better days again.

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