It is ludicrous to have laws against suicide. What will they do to me after I've killed myself? Send me to re-education school?

I agree with you that, whatever anyone calls it, state-sanctioned death by one's own hand is suicide. All states should supply chemical means to people who wish to choose their own time/place of death. Had my younger brother had the option, his widow might have been spared a horrific event. (Although, his clarity of thought may have made the point moot.)

Younger Brother's wife came home from shopping to find him in a glider in their back yard. It isn't pretty to find the results of a well-aimed long gun. He was only 70, but he left a horrific memory in his widow's (age 76) brain.

You, thankfully, are thinking clearly about your own predicament. You are providing us with a wonderful service. Thank you, so much.

For years, doctors have given patients, who are terminal and in pain, more and more drugs until they know it will end their lives. I don't see it as suicide but understand it's just a word. What it is is giving the dying person a choice in how they go and when-- better that way than with a gun, which is brutal for those who come after to see what happened. To let people say last words and go peacefully is easier on the loved ones. It's important to have the right drugs and I hope that Arizona eventually lets it go on the ballot. I've heard religious people claim that dying from the disease gives more time for asking for forgiveness. I think that's fine for them to decide it's what they want for themselves but not for others. Where these laws are carefully set up to avoid coercion, I think it's about mercy to let each decide their time. It's not just for the elderly either as some imply. My mother-in-law had shattered her hip at 95. She opted to have a hip replacement but never fully came back. The idea of death with dignity never came up as she had no time limit it was just wearing out.

The possible distinction between death by dignity and suicide may be more than just semantic. There are some types of life insurance policies that do not pay out when suicide is the cause of death. Perhaps an insurance or legal professional could provide more detail on this issue.

I believe in my 'right' to end my life whenever I want to do so. I believe the 'taboo' mentioned stems mostly from religious thought, which I rejected some years ago.
I don't really see myself choosing that for now, but I KNOW that it will be an option if I am diagnosed with something terminal.

What I have been doing for the last few years, though, is building a community for myself of women who are family now. And women who will see me out when the time comes. So, whatever the disease, I would not use MAID if pain could be managed. To die in the company of (and maybe even in the arms of) folks who love me is a truly lovely and comforting thought. I would love to be awake for that transition.

What we wish for and what we get are often different things, though, so I am grateful that some are waking up to these possibilities of a better death.
My life is my own. If circumstances arise that make being alive untenable, I will stop living regardless of laws. Online research provides answers.

Ronni, thank you for this forum, your courage, and your amazing clarity of thought.

I agree with Cop Car, it’s ludicrous to have laws against it. And as progressive as Oregon & a few other states are in medically assisted dying, it still seems punishing and backward. “You have to be diagnosed with a terminal illness.” “You must have 6 months or less to live.” “You must lift the glass yourself.” Not that I have issue with the term suicide, but given all the legal & medical hoops you have to jump thru, I’d hardly equate it with that word.

I watched both of my parents die from cancer, writhing and delirious and drowning in morphine. In the time after they were diagnosed with terminal cancers and before their bodies finally gave out, we spent that time opening up and sharing our feelings, laughing & reminiscing, etc. They were both raised to believe suicide was the “ultimate sin”, but Mom didn’t see it as suicide at all towards the end and wished for that option greatly. I wished she had it too, I hate that her death was a relief on our parts more than anything when it finally happened.

Technically it is suicide, and technically we're dead after our death. Younger people (some) are coming up with words that don't have eons of negative energy around them, and I like that. At first, I thought, this is just too precious. But after some reflection, I like it. "Transitioning," rather than die.........yup, just moving from one state to another. And "self euthanization" rather than suicide. Softer, gentler, and, maybe, kinder. I could "die," but really? Sort of a boring word for what, it seems, really transpires. I think I'll "move on," "transition," "head out," oh, I can see it's time to think of some more lovely, imaginative words for this.

Anyway, as me mum said,"There's lots worse things than dying."

Good give and take here, thanks, definitions aside, words, the thing is suffering isn't a good thing nor lingering in a state of loss for many years, so I went to Five Wishes Living Will, and wrote out what I thought, and my Geriatric Social Worker reminded me to share the info with my family, she works in a Aging Well practice I just joined, at age 70, and after reading Jane Gross's book Caring for Our Aging parents-and Ourselves, A Bittersweet Season, what is right for me may not be for others. Living in a State which doesn't allow for MAID, her mother in the book decided to stop eating, when the time came. It worked, took two weeks or so. (guess important to check with the lawyer's if you still have a life insurance policy) My Mother in law was in HOSPICE for about five years, with Alzheimer's Disease, and the seven years before that she was combative and not recognizing family, wish she would have written something out, because I know she didn't want to be like that for so long. My Mom at age 92, is in an ALF, all together different story. We each have our own journey. and Ronni, still think if you can wait it out, wait to see who is elected in November.

I don't think anyone knows what they will do for sure until we are in the situation. Lots of good thoughts here but every one should do what is right for them. I just watched the movie Clemency ...very good film about capitol punishment. I am against it but think I would do it if myself to the person that hurt or killed the lights of my life.

Dear Ronnie and Friends, i can't help but to suspect that more states will allow people to take their own lives & and eventually for less critical reasons (inoperable cancers and such). Suspect that where this will end up is: things like M.A.I.D. pills no longer being a person's choice (unless you're wealthy) but a legal/medical requirement for people 70 and above to get off the planet - for rather minor health problems.

I DO believe that suicide is terrible for the family left behind. And I am not for it, because it is said in the Bible that only God gives life and only God takes it away.

Many insightful and provocative comments here. This post and thread prompted me to look up Carolyn Heilbrun again today, leading me to a magazine article from 2003, written a few weeks after her death, which I had never read before. Some of the things it said, I was aware of and some I was not. Heilbrun took her own life, at 77, by a method much harder than what she would be able to do today in many places. She had planned to end it at 70, but apparently kept finding that she had not reached her shelf-life before then. Her story is fascinating. She was a successful woman, in apparently every way of measuring that, with a prosperous and seemingly satisfying life, but she is reported as having said that she had become "sad about the universe."

Each day, more and more, I understand how someone may feel that way, to the point of wanting out, but I'm intrigued by how most people go on through the same events and culture -- or worse -- and without many of the privileges and benefits of others, and just keep rolling along regardless of how they feel about life.

A fascinating conversation.

I'm thinking of the government's ability to control a person's life. Even with Roe v. Wade which essentially removed the government control over a woman's body, the fight continues to this date.

To me whether the choice is to bear a child or to end one's life, it is a completely personal decision, and there should be zero government involvement.

Whether ending a life is due to physical illness or mental illness makes no difference, and judging someone who makes that choice is what is cruel.

I'm glad that California allows me to make choices, but I fear that if Trump retains power, that may disappear as well.

I'm happy for Irma if, in her state, "Even with Roe v. Wade which essentially removed the government control over a woman's body...." is true. In too many states it is not, really.

For much of my life I have wondered why the word "suicide" is so fraught with condemnation and aversion. He or she "COMMITTED suicide!" (or rape, or murder, or incest!). I'm sure as other comments have suggested, it is tied to religion. A sin. Not coming from a religious family, free to make my own decisions, and living in Oregon, I was by my husband's side when he chose the right to die.
I would like to suggest that the act itself has much in common with abortion, another policy I endorse and, as in suicide, it depends upon the circumstances. I like to believe that most thinking people can imagine what those circumstances might be and can honor the decision. Each of these are the ultimate personal act that comes from within the heart of the human most effected by the outcome.

I believe people who blatantly state that, "only God gives life and only God takes it away" are hypocritical unless they have refused medical intervention throughout their entire life. Would they have refused resuscitation of their drowning child or rejected antibiotics prescribed to cure a virulent infection? I doubt it!

Dear macmsue, your fangs are showing.

I don’t much care what word anyone uses for ending their lives. It’s a personal choice.

In the US we’re very misguided in so many ways. Don’t believe in abortion, fine, don’t have one. But Prevent abortion and don’t support moms who can’t work Or feed their families, don’t have an education etc... You’re a hypocrite.

If you believe in god then follow gods rules. If you don’t believe in god then make a considered decision.

I believe god is the collective love and good of humanity. These past 4 yrs have shown us there is also true evil in the world and it is running the our government.

As we age and begin our dying process is it OUR choice in how that should unfold. The fact that humans can’t tolerate the idea of dying has caused innumerable problems for life on the planet we’re desecrating.

However it happens, whenever it happens I wish you, Ronni, a good Journey. I wish it for myself. And for all others as well.

I’ve made plans to NOT hang around to suffer because of archaic laws and doctors who are unable to accept that death is, indeed, a normal part of the human condition.

I’ve worked in healthcare my entire life. I’ve trained in hospice, have studied death and dying (and yes, have Heilbruns and several others books) since I was a kid. I see death as an old friend. I don’t find it depressing. I like the word transitioning... When it’s time, Exhale.

If a person attempts suicide but is not successful, are they prosecuted?

When my mother had dementia, I wished there was something like MAID for her. She seemingly sensed when it was “time,” and stopped eating. After checking for medical reasons such as infection (there were none,) we opted to forgo tube feeding. She died 10 days later, relatively peacefully.

Dear Sue -- I know what you're getting at, but everything revelatory that I've experienced in life -- whether from a supreme being, or nature or other people or animals -- is that what's important is not how we die, but how we live, especially how we treat others and share the love that has been shared with us, and that I believe is the force that drives everything. Regardless of our theology, if we live in accordance with the message that Jesus shared in the Beatitudes, we should have no reason to fear the darker of the two places, even if those do turn out to be the only options (which I very much doubt is the case).

Oh Vera D and macmsue....I love you. You speak exactly how I feel. So many fine intelligent rational people on Ronni's site. I will miss Ronni and all of you when the time comes for her.

Ronni, my first thought is you take us with you wherever you are and prompt us to explore what we think about complicated issues.

As a retired clinical social worker, I want to make a distinction between suicide as a result of terminal illness and suicide from depression. As someone commented above, he's glad his attempt was not successful as a teen. Depression is generally a treatable illness and people can get better and feel better. This is not true for terminal cancer. I would be concerned if some of the guardrails were removed and suicide means became more easily available to people with depression or other mental health issues. For some, suicide can be an impulsive reaction to a situational trigger. In an emergency setting with suicide ideation, the person is always asked about access to weapons or pills (means) to determine risk because we know the desire will often pass. So, while both are suicide, one is a reasonable response and the other is almost always tragic.

Absolutely, Susan! Very clear elucidation of the difference between MAiD and "suicide".