I envy you Ronni. You are able to be in control and decide when you would like to go. No worries about your future. Will your money run out, what will happen to you. Will you get Alzheimer’s etc.

"Because I really, really like being alive." That's a sentiment worth repeating. Many of us are glad that you feel that way.

Although you may pshaw this, your courage, your gutsiness, your common sense, your honesty, along with your appreciation of life in the now, and certainly your humor, I admire and respect a lot. I just hope that when the time comes I can take such an unvarnished look at my end and accept it. Thank you for showing us one way of doing it.

What Nana said... <3 plus my own thanks.

Our forever mentor .What a blessing you are, Ronni. Thank you, Marena

Letting Go that final time, thinking you for selfish reasons should hold out until November 5th or so, seasons change, and you can possibly see a change in the climate of the country and know it's safer for your friends, son and grandchild, remembering Tuesdays With Morrie, and we have had you almost everyday ... these chats are so meaningful especially during Covid19.
I like the idea of having wine ... and wearing comfy clothes.

Ah, Dear Ronni, I had wondered if you got 'the meds' yet. How like you to let us know right away! We cherish you and treasure every day we have with you! Big hugs! Ali

You continue to amaze me, Ronni. My reactions to this post are many but include: Wow, I didn't know there would be so many pills! And if it were me, I would choose my comfiest, most favorite clothes to wear and I would eat whatever I want for breakfast. I would definitely have wine, something of a celebratory snack because you will have accomplished something huge, something beautiful, something magnificent (the way I have experienced the deaths I have been privileged to attend).
I am so grateful for you, for your life, for what you share with us. I am in awe of your process and will take so much of what you are teaching me for use when my time comes, if I am blessed with the time to prepare.
I hope you can feel the love and respect I am pouring into these words.
I also hope you can stick around until the election. I think it's going to be a humdinger!
Blessings, dear Ronni.

Bless you and thank you, Ronni. Have to confess that the photo, as banal as it might appear, did take my breath away for a moment. So very concrete.
But the questions going through your head alongside the bigger issues? Oh, yes. My mind would be busy with those ... partly to push aside the huge looming decision you will have to make, as far off as possible I know, with gratitude for being able to make it I know, and with - I hope - the awareness of all the love I and all of us here will be sending your way, as we do every day.

Hi Ronni,
Thanks always for continuing to share your experiences with us.

I have an app on my phone called "We Croak" and it was created on a Bhutanese adage that "contemplating death five times daily will create happiness." It reminds the user five times a day that he/she will die.

Our American culture is very death-phobic and death-shy. Your post brings to mind how important it is for us to start realizing the nature of our existence, and especially that it will end. I commend you for talking about something so openly that we keep sweeping under the rug. You are providing us a rare service, and I will take it as an inspiration to do the same by not sweeping the matter of death under the rug as it approaches.

I wish I was as well organized. Amazing. The legalities have taken 3 mos. by my count, and that time frame doesn't include your learning curve. Good luck, and to me it seems much like getting off a car on the "Snowpiercer": Life goes on, just you're not on the train anymore.

No, it's not morbid. Your choice is very personal and deserves to be treated as such. Your final "party" should be the period to life you have always sought.

B

So very thankful that I discovered you and your blog. You are a blessing.

Just looking at those bottles is scary to me. I would of thought, one, maybe two, but good grief what is in that large bottle? Something to make a cocktail? You are braver than I.

Prayers for you if that is OK.

Will someone with hospice be with you assuming there is a sequence in taking the drugs? Does this insure a quick death? You've be very frank in sharing your journey Ronnie, so my questions are also very frankly asked.

Seriously - child-proof caps?!?
Final breakfast: ANYthing you want. My choice: ice cream with lots of hot fudge sauce. And just leave the dishes for someone else.
A good wine for the attendees, so that they can toast in your honor.
What to wear? again, anything you want, but I don't think you need to bother with shoes.

May you with grace when the time is right.

I read your blog first thing every morning, and look forward to the wisdom you share so openly.

For me aging has been difficult, and found your blog for the reason I needed some wisdom on the subject. Thank you.

I definitely would have the wine.

Hugs❤️

Wine?

Hell, I'd have a martini, in a beautiful crystal stemmed glass, wearing my best jewelry, and perhaps a feather boa, and maybe nothing else.
Except for my satin slippers.... you do have satin slippers, yes?

You cannot know how much your blogs have meant to so many of us who turn to you each morning. Nor how much, how very much we admire you! You live within miles of me, and perhaps next door (I, also, live in L.O.) and yet we have never met. But yes, WE HAVE... in the meaningful expression of your soul thoughts. Mine are inadequate to express the appreciation I feel.... I will let others who are more gifted and more articulate say them for me. But I WILL SAY that I LOVE YOU, so, when you choose to go, go in peace, wrapped in the love and warmth from all who 'know' you through your words. Peace. (and,... "here's lookin at you, kid!")

All I can say is thank you. Thank you for informing people. Thank you for the light you bring to the world. Thank you for just BEING.

Hi Ronni,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Glad that you have the option to use the medical aid in dying (M.A.I.D.) drugs. Our state is still slowly moving towards making them available.

I woke up hopeful today after yesterday's news of Kamala Harris being chosen as the VP candidate. She just exudes joy!

Be careful crossing the street!
Love,
--Steve

In your hands,
Your Death.
Available
Almost too available,
"Because I really, really like
Being Alive".

I can't quite wrap my mind around those two concepts - - -
Which exist in mortal juxtaposition.
Describing your journey for us all,
How can we Thank You?
We cannot. Sufficiently
But we can hope that your 'passing'
Comes easily, with
Joy on your lips

Ronni, my heart is always too full to make sense of what I feel when I read your posts of late. But I will share a passage from a favourite book, which sums up what your life has become, to me, and I suspect to many of us. As the Navajo I grew up among would say, "Walk in beauty, Beloved."

“What do you practice? Whatever you practice, you’ll get very good at it. Some people become more fearful or cynical; some more arrogant or vain; some greedier; some needier; some more combative and close-minded. That’s what’s what they practice.

And then there are are a few who grow as solid as a mountain and as wide-open as the sky. They are strong and yet tender. Steady yet yielding. Powerful yet gentle. You will recognize them because they resemble the earth you can touch and the sky you cannot contain. It’s not that they are superhuman; they are more completely human than most of us ever allow ourselves to be.” ~ "Paradise in Plain Sight” by Karen Maezen Miller

The words of love, appreciation, support...what could I add. I wish for once they could dispense the meds in pretty bottles, painted with wildflowers.
When you lay yourself down with the potion, I hope you have a bit of lipstick on, to symbolize the enormous gift of sharing what you have had to say all these years.

Wow. Death sits right beside you in a few bottles. Chilling and merciful all at once. I know neither of us are believers, but here is a verse from the Episcopal liturgy that I have always loved:

“‘“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’

And give you peace, dear Ronni.

Absolutely wine, perhaps even champagne.

Yes -- those meds look very ordinary, no skull and crossbones, nothing flashing "warning!!" or at least not from this angle. Amazing the potency of such small and innocuous looking pills and powders.

I can imagine that it's rather comforting to have these in your possession. Every day that you look and don't open may make you a little stronger, knowing that you made it through the day with the means, but not the need to use them.

One day at a time!

Extremely useful information. Gives us all pause for thought. . .I fully intend to use my state's M.A.I.D. (SO glad we have it!) if I qualify when the time comes. Still, there are many hoops to jump through. I feel that agency in dying should be an option, especially to those over age 75 who are mentally competent but physically failing for whatever reason.

At 83 I, too, still really like being alive 98% of the time, but over the past 3 years it has become possible to foresee a scenario where that may not be the case. I have no desire to live to be 100--or even 90--if I have lost the ability to tend to my own personal needs or perform basic "ADLs".

I totally respect that you live in a state where this is a possibility. Having these tools at hand must provide some level of peace in that, you specifically have some control over your last day. And yet, you may never use them.

My Dad wished he'd had this option back in 1994 when his lungs were being consumed. Prior to that, he didn't believe in it. "I think that might not be such a bad thing now that I'm here" were his words.

Wishing you more joy in living as you really really like being ALIVE!

Ronni, when I first read this in the early morning hours, I had to take some time to accept it. I've written often that I am so grateful that the Right to Die is finally legal in Maine. At last, we can have a choice if we are facing death. Whatever you choose - however you choose - whenever you choose: There is no doubt it will be perfect for you. You have shared your intelligence, humor, energy, and the results of all that research with your many readers. Thank you with all my heart. Still, I am selfish and look forward to reading a bit more before saying "goodbye." Hugs and luv.

I'm happy that you have your drugs, and I dread your taking them.
You are a hero and role model for me and I'm perfectly fine with you distracting yourself with the minutiae of what to wear and what to eat or drink because you are now enabled to make the most momentous decision of your life and there can be no do-overs having once made it.
It's been 15 years and I can't imagine anyone who could take your place talking sense to me.

Yours is just the most amazing blog I have ever had the good fortune to find. I started reading you years ago when I started looking for some 'Like mindedness" to go with getting older. Your approach to death is the same as your approach to life and aging. Straight forward, no delusions, plenty of humanity....and even some humor.
I don't know any of the other commenters personally but I do know, how ever the end comes we will ALL be there in that room with you.
Jackie M

Not morbid
.... a reality for you
.... a choice I strongly support you being able to make
.... that said, my mind is reluctant to accept you leaving this earth.

This photo and your words unexpectedly caught my breath this evening. I don't think that I am as brave as you. However, what you share, each time, brings more courage to my heart. I have always, for years, benefited from your humor, your knowledge and your wisdom. No other friend could compare, in person or on paper. Were it that I could hand back to you in kind. As always, sending a hug and much love. Thank you for being you.

Not morbid at all. You have the power to end it all when you know it’s the right time. Maybe owning those little bottles helps to disperse that black cloud of uncertainty and frees up your day for doing what you want to do.
I wish we had the same freedom in the UK but here it’s still a moral and ethical minefield and sadly very little to do with individual health and emotional well-being. xx

Dear dear Ronni
Take comfort in all of the comments and the people who love you.

I have known others who have prepared for their passing with such care. I can advise you this: watch your dreams carefully. Even if you don't dream, you may "see" someone that you have not seen before. He or she will be your guide. They are what we call a psychopomp - a person or friendly being that welcomes you to the Great Road of transition. They will answer any questions you have. It is a beautiful thing.

Look in your dreams, or your waking reality, for your psychopomp.

Love you dearest

I have no problem with death talk but it still makes me sad. I admire you, Ronni, for your blog and for sharing the end of your life with us. Go to meet that moment knowing you prepared for it with love.

Dear Ronni, thank you as always for saying it all--speaking to the whole experience. I appreciate the bit of dark humor among everything else. And every post of yours reminds me to be aware of this precious gift of life in the moment, to not take a minute for granted, which I achieve only fleetingly. I'm so glad for you that your illness hasn't touched your mind and heart.

Ronni,

I only just found your blog and have enjoyed reading it. I can't help but feel a bit sad as I just found you. I wish you all the best and thank you for your honesty. I hope you will take comfort in all the comments and love expressed by the readers here. Even though I just discovered your blog I will be thinking about you and hope that whatever you decide, that the end is peaceful and your thoughts focus on the love that you have given and received and joy you have shared. Wish I could share a hug and smile before you go. Thank you for all the inspiration and wisdom you have left for us.

P.S. I read your post about when you turned 40 and the gentleman gave you 40 tulips to remind you how beautiful you are. My sister turned 60 today. I told her that I wish I could have sent her 60 roses to remind her how beautiful 60 could be, but then I realized and told her that she just had to look in the mirror. Thank you for the help.

I admire your courage so much. I can't yet put my mind into the frame of accepting my eventual death but this might help some day. Thank you.. And I will miss you when you're gone.

As always, I have to say, it’s been a privilege. Thank you for the practical lessons, yes I did want to see what lethal drugs look like.

that's a virtual HUG...

Ditto to what so many others have said here. Thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I am so glad you have this option; so many do not. May your last days be full of love, peace, and may you be graced with the small beauties of life-----seeing the butterfly flit by the window, the way the sunlight falls, a loved one's voice and face........

Know that we too will gather with you on that day in spirit. Seek Light.........Kyoko