Stumbling Along Toward an Ending
INTERESTING STUFF – 19 September 2020

The Alex and Ronni Show and a Short Amount of One Other Thing

Thanks to my hospice team – nurse, social worker, spiritual adviser – and my palliative care specialist, I feel safe and well taken care of. Each one of them is dedicated, smart, resourceful, likable and always there when I need them.

But sometimes it's out of their hands.

There is nothing they can do about my horrible night's sleep and today (Thursday as I write this) I am bone-tired, angry, ill-tempered, bilious, cantankerous and ornery.

It's so bad I can't even stand myself.

That's it. That's all I've got for you today. Except for this week's Alex and Ronni Show recorded on Wednesday.

You can check out Alex's online talk show here.

Comments

I hope its only a stumble Ronni .... thinking of you. Betty

Thinking of you, Ronni, and hoping tonight’s sleep will be better.

I love your honesty.

I'm sorry it's a tough go right now. That sleep deprivation can do wretched things to us elders, and with your challenges, well, no wonder you're feeling all those things that are so lousy to feel! I hope in the nights to come you sleep way better.
It's sometimes occurred to me after a lousy nights sleep that the world hasn't stopped giving me beauty in the flowers, or good food, or a funny, lovable little dog, a good book, etc, but I am not available. Not that that helps, just a thought.
And again, thanks for your honesty, you rock!

Grump away, kiddo. It will ease.
Thinking of you
o/

No explanation necessary. It sucks.

Did you write it before or after you met with Alex? Loving wishes to both of you, as tonight we begin a new year, you made it, this far, and hoping that this week of reflection and time carries you a little longer, as we love you, 5781, and sending a donation out to a Chabad in Oregon in your name, and will plant a tree in Israel, for the good you have brought to this column and all of us sharing your journey. m

It's OK Ronni. You deserve to be ornery some days. We all are thinking of you and wishing for some better days for you. With love, Merna

Wishes for a good solid sleep, nothing to apologize about and they've seen it all!

Okay, Cantankerous. I'll stick in there with you. Some days are like that - especially, as others have mentioned, when one is sleep deprived.

Hugs!

I always enjoy the Alex & Ronni Show, today was no exception. You both were funny & sweet. (As for those late night bathroom trips... yes I consider myself lucky if I only get up twice!) I’m very sorry to read you’re having a bad day today though. Maybe a Trumper will wander over here and you can rip him a new one! Just kidding (sorta). As always, thinking of you with great affection Ronni.

" I am bone-tired, angry, ill-tempered, bilious, cantankerous and ornery." AND you have a right to be. You are not that statement. YOU ARE STRONG, CAPABLE (although limited) AND LOVED BY MANY. Thank you for YOU.💕

Shana tovah, a good New Year, for all Jewish people and everyone else. 5781. Through how many generations this holiday has been celebrated, in good times and in awful times; those of us who are in the current generation who celebrates and acknowledges this holiday, we keep acknowledging that we are alive and are thankful for it, that we want to be inscribed in the book of life, that we do have a beautiful and sometimes difficult world that we live in, and that we are not totally in control of ourselves and our lives.. That spiritual part shines through to us to do the best we can with what we still have in our abilities to do, even if our abilities are diminished. I think you do this well, Ronni, letting us join you on your challenging journey. You are an intelligent and sweet person at heart, and it comes out through your words. Shana tovah.

Sending you a virtual hug (( ))!

I hope you can get to sleeping well, Ronni. I love that you can laugh; especially with your ex-husband. I love your shows with him!!

Vent away and know you are in good hands. We love you for you, not how you feel.

You are entitled to it all! Wishing you a better day and sending hugs.

You gave me a good chuckle Ronnie, re your cantankerousness: It's so bad you can't even stand yourself. In spite of the mood, you look pretty, with your hoop earrings and what looks to be a velvet shirt. You are doing a good job at everything you do, IMO.

Maybe this is your time to move forward to a more peaceful place, environment and look forward to what you have given up in order to continue reporting the day in and out of preparing for the dyeing experience.
Allison in Sacramento.

In a way, it's reassuring to know that you are still seeing life in a realistic way--a bad day is just that, and better days will follow. Thank you for sharing it all.

Thinking of you Ronni and hoping you have a much better sleep tonight. I hope it rains and you can listen to it coming down and drift off to a deep, restful sleep.

Wishing you a peaceful night's sleep, Ronni.

Loved seeing your smile, hearing your voice........................

Hope this helps a bit:

"Portland just started a straight-up Texas-grade thunderstorm.

"In honor of this, I am using the power bestowed upon me by the state of New Jersey that one time to declare Oregon's summer of 2020 ended. ..."
—southpaw Retweeted Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) @IwriteOK 7:12 AM · 18 September 2020
————

Blessings and wishing you sound, satisfying sleep.

Maybe a mild sleeping potion is something to ask your healthcare team about--or perhaps a slightly more potent form of cannabis. At this point, why not, if it would help you have better nights--and days? (I'm not one who views human suffering as "redemptive" or whatever, but I know opinions differ. )

Ronni, I am late to your blog, but each one is such a contribution to those of us reaching a comparable place in our lives and thinking our time becoming short on this earth. You are teaching all of us how to die, an incredible and blessed help. To read your blog is to love you with such gratefulness. Thank you for admitting to off days. It gives each of permission to know such days are part of life. When you finally submit to the end of life as we know it, Please know that what you have shared with us is the best gift we could have ever received. Blessings, Julie

HI Ronnie -- maybe this is Crabby showing up in a new persona!! I miss Crabby.

Sounds like Grumpy Old Lady has come to the forefront, perhaps feeling she’s been neglected in your TGB writings for awhile. We’re starting to glimpse blue skies here in SoCal, with clearer air at ground level — hope you will too soon.

Hi Ronnie,

I just wanted to let you know , before I regret leaving it too late, how much I have enjoyed Time Goes By over the past few years. I think I discovered your blog around 2012 and regularly share and recommend it.
I appreciate your writing, your politics, your humor and especially your frank style. I love that we get to 'listen in' on conversations with you and your ex! You give it to us 'warts 'n all' Ronnie, and I'm better off for knowing about you and your life.

With love and thanks for it all,


Juliet xxxxx (I'm a few miles away in Seattle, originally from the UK)

Ronni, you and your ex-husband have a great style of banter in your videos, a bit of serious and a bit of laughter. I hope the air is clear now at your home. Sleep well tonight, all of us oldsters face that hurdle of a good night's rest.

Gentle virtual hug. Ask your hospice folks about music therapy and massage.

You have a great smile! Not sleeping sucks! I hope you feel better soon.

Throughout this pandemic, I keep thinking of how much I took for granted. Then I read your blog and realize how much more I am taking for granted, even just walking and breathing. Your journey is helping all of us, my sincere wish for your peace and comfort.

RIP RBG

Always with you...no matter what!
Love you

Hoping Thursday night was a better one. There have been so many disturbances in the Force this year it's a wonder anyone can get a decent night's sleep. I know you have many tools in your toolbox to help with sleep, but sometimes nothing helps.

I'm coming late to this post Friday evening, about an hour after the announcement that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died. What a great loss and another great disturbance to the Force. May she rest in peace.

Oh my, you are looking so classy lady! Sorry to hear you didn’t sleep well, and hoping by now it’s resolved.

RIP RBG. What a spectacular star she was. She will be sorely missed.

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