Choosing a Life – Or Letting It Happen
INTERESTING STUFF – 17 October 2020

The Alex and Ronni Show -16 October 2020

Not that I set out meaning to avoid the president's name in this episode of The Alex and Ronni Show, but somehow Alex and I got to the end with it coming up only once – and we backed away as fast as we could.

This time we talked quite a bit about this end-of-life journey I'm on, riffing off the story I posted on Wednesday, Choosing a Life or Letting It Happen.

I think with Alex I got a lot closer to what I was trying to write on Wednesday but missed a few points then. See what you think.

You can check out Alex's online talk show here.


It's been a busy week here what with our grandkids visiting and today is the same with chores and a storytelling session with first graders via Zoom, so I've not had a chance to watch your video; however just seeing the gleeful look on your face in that freeze frame made me so happy. I'll be back.

Your beauty and depth of ingenuity continue to be an ongoing inspiration, both which you achieved through your choices. Then share with your readers.
Many hugs and warm love for your generosity.

Love listening to you both, have a good weekend everyone, virtual hugs, and thinking all should talk to the Ex's like you two.

Thanks for this. I didn't watch the whole thing but I got a lot out of what I did watch/listen to. Especially the part where you expanded on your Wednesday comment about things being interesting if you pay attention to them. That hit home for me.

Ronni, you look damn good for someone who is dying. That smile is infectious!

That was a great Alex and Ronni show! I love to hear you laugh!
On the subject of the hereafter, I became a non-believer many years ago now, but when my larger than life husband passed over 20 years ago now, I must admit that I thought, how can that amazing, vibrant personality just cease to be? I hoped that the intense essence of him was part of some cosmic dust somewhere where it would be recycled into a wonderful child somewhere. I know. That sounds pretty odd, but it gave me some peace.
I do know that personalities remain in the memories of those who cared for them, and yours is among those that I’ll recall with laughter, tears and love.

Love the hairstyle - very chic! And glad that your talk with Alex gives me a chance to respond to your Wednesday blog about your life just 'happening" without your having any control over it.
Seemsto me that we are all presented with a variety of choices over the course of their lives. And it is how we respond to those choices that, to a large degree, determine how our lives go.
It doesn't look as if the jobs you took were the Only ones available at the time - rather, that you chose from among an array of opportunities what best met your interests and abilities. Also, don't recall anyone coming to you and suggesting that you start an aging blog. Rather you perceived a need and went for it.
Come on Ronni! You have Always had what the theorists today call "agency." And you are showing that agency in the choices you make each day. So very grateful to have you as a mentor in living and in dying. Much love, Ann

I for one, enjoy deep analysis of the events of my life or the interpretation and sharing by others of theirs. Wednesday's post and especially today's video was fascinating to ponder. I believe that you are on the right track when you begin to wonder if your life was following some sort of a predetermined over-arching script. The only logical conclusion I have come to is that each and every step on the way was nearly if not totally preordained--I came to realize this only with the wisdom of age and hindsight and any over analysis at the time could have ruined the natural flow--the subconscious interplay between the guiding forces and myself working in harmony (much like the quantum physics concept of viewing an experiment and altering the results). The clear or obvious magical moments of clear guidance came about when major inflection points occurred and when without a push in this or that direction, the entire scheme would unravel and prevent me from reaching my ultimate grand purpose--somebody, something or some force really wanted me to keep moving forward toward my ultimate goal or purpose. It's not to say that events along the way weren't meaningful, particularly in regard to helping others or having situational bits parts in various fellow traveler's or transient actor's lives or scripts and they in mine, all different, but for a time, we shared points of intersection or or temporary overlapping scripts but each with long-term distinctly different ultimate trajectories and purposes.

Everything is Interesting if you pay attention, good advice, being in the moment. m

Woo, Woo territory, living out the script, me too!

I've never seen such a good video for showing how good you would be as a public speaker or an actor. And there's comic timing --which you and Alex both have--but damn Ronni, you look good and the camera knows! I started smiling and nodding along with you and kept doing it for the whole show. And afterwards, I felt like I'd had coffee with you and Alex both.


Always a fan of ‘The Alex & Ronni Show’, this episode was brave and honest and fun. I felt a real connect with Alex when he admitted he’s knowing fewer & fewer celebrities with time, particularly the guest-hosts of SNL. I’ve been a fan of the show since it’s premiere in 1975, but for the last couple years... who is this person, never seen ‘em before. I sure do miss the days of George Carlin & Buck Henry & Gilda... anyway—thanks for sharing, Ronni.

You are just the BEST! I so enjoyed hearing what you had to say today............your interest in how it all goes, this dying business, and staying engaged with your or the process. I think that is what makes a person successful as well.........not that you're trying to "get somewhere," but that you are intensely interested in what's happening right now. Then you're open to all kinds of fabulous stuff from.......dare I say it?..........the universe! Ta dah! Or, your own mind, same thing.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
Albert Einstein

Thank you to you and Alex for this very engaging and candid video today.

SNL has become one of the things that my husband and I look forward to each week as well. So glad to have it on live again, though the summer episodes via Zoom or whatever were delightfully creative. I agree with Alex that last week's was disappointing, but we still enjoyed the Weekend Update with Michael and Colin -- that segment is one of our favorite things about SNL, too. It's become challenging for us to stay awake through the whole show, though, so we stay up just long enough to watch the opening and then play it 'on demand' on Sunday.

And I agree with others commenting on how great you look Ronni. I like your hair that way, and you are absolutely effervescent through most of this! Cheers!

Interesting question from Alex about dying being fun at times.
I think it is. At times.
The exploration of something new, different and extraordinary is “fun” for one who has always been curious about all things.
But that is on the good days only of course.
I used to hope I would simply die in my sleep in order to avoid the fear of not knowing but being given a diagnosis that ends soon in death gives one the opportunity to examine the whole of life and that exploration can be fun.
All about entering a new stage of life. Serendipity. Ah ha moments. So this is what it’s all about.

Btw, you reminded me of Doris Lessing today. One of my heroes.

I enjoyed listening to your show today. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I saw my husband hold on fiercely to live while still firmly believing in Death With Dignity. I was surprised that he chose to hang on to the end.
I have seen other death journeys my Mom gave up and allowed herself to fade away with no apparent illness just lost her attachment to life. The more people I see on their way the less I know how I’ll handle my own dying. I hope I will be as fierce as you.

I started watching the 30 minute video with Alex and was about to switch it off midway (pretty interesting but sort of depressing) but glad I kept watching because Ronni's comment at the very end of the video brought up something that I had never quite thought about before.

She said the world is likely headed for a long period of darkness.

So maybe there is an optimum time to leave the world. OTOH, some people still managed to find joy living through the dark times of world wars.

I, too, perceive SNL as you two describe it with the highlight being Michael and Colin. The skits are hit and miss with only a few hits. I agree with Alex about Lady Gaga -- a really talented gal capable of singing in many genres. I've enjoyed Adele and Amy Winehouse ( a real tragic loss) to name a couple others.

I recall in high school becoming aware my mother was completely out of touch with the music I liked though I was never into a lot of the pop culture stuff, only select tunes, performers and genres. I thought I'll never lose track of performers or even music types that failed to resonate with my soul. I don't know what happened but I did, especially when so much pop culture music instrumentation became engorged with too many guitars so prominent, the singing became loud with rough, ragged, hollering voices and unintelligible lyrics to stir my feelings.

In retrospect, I think the generations have been trying to drown out life as I recall doing one afternoon midlife when I turned up the volume on my music of choice as I was feeling overwhelmed with all of life. Fortunately, the decibels didn't damage my hearing as many rock musicians experienced.

I think when we lose interest in everything, that might be the time to cash in the chips. On the other hand, perhaps that never happens for some of us, our literally having undying curiosity as you evidence. I've thought from reading accounts that the life force is strong which you are confirming.

I think it's premature to assume we will be living through dark times in the future though they will be challenging. I hold out a more positive anticipatory vision. I see these times a golden opportunity to move forward further toward equality, a realignment of economic conditions, an all-out drive and commitment to preserve and rehabilitate our environment, recognition by more of the populace of what really matters in life with a refreshed focus on how to live to name a few things.

Of course, this is contingent on the course our nation takes in the near future and the years ahead. There will be some rough, ragged and tough times getting through to get there as we've lived through before, but we will. Whether or not I or you live to see us emerge as I envision is probably debatable, but you may well be around longer than you think. I certainly wish so for you, along with the prospect of your staying alert, with minimal pain well-controlled to relish living through most days.

In my mid-70s, with cancer & chronic pain, & still working full time, I don’t always have time to read or listen to your words, Ronni, those of other listeners & readers, and Alex’s. Today I made time for this. And it was among the most insightful, Peloton (is that the spelling?) aside.

The time thing - I think I sometimes (btw rooms, sitting and working) just space out. Where do I and time go?

Ever on my mind is Zeke Emmanuel’s (unkept I think) promise of 75 & out. What is my usefulness I wonder. Like you, in an “it happened” successful career, like Alex wondering who I’d be without working, living or dying sooner or later, this was all contemplative. Thank you for talking this out and for Alex asking if it’s fun to die.

The “Alex and Ronni” show is not my favorite TGB segment, but I have to say, Ronni, that despite—or maybe because of—your various health conditions, you look beautiful these days. I like your non-styled hair, which I assume is some version of a pony-tail or bun. It looks good on you, so you should keep it even if it ever becomes okay to visit a hair salon.

One of the best of many good ones. So much to reflect on and enjoy, as so many of your readers have already commented. But I particularly loved Alex's description of you as the Sacagawea of Ageing. One interpretation of her name is "boat puller" ... and we are on your boat and you are our precious captain.
Thank you, dear Ronni, and thank you, Alex.

One of the best posts yet.

Thank you dear lady for pointing the way for the rest of us.

I absolutely adore the classic ‘Ronni Eye-roll’ re the Peloton riff from Alex - could hear it all the way across the pond. ❤️😝🤣
Hugs from afar. xx

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