Tuesday, 03 November 2020
This morning finds me with an overwhelming anxiety. I have been up for hours, and have reached for my phone three times to call one of the only people I know who could understand, empathize, and validate the terror I am feeling about the state of the world and more so, the state of our country. Ronni and I have spent COUNTLESS hours talking about health care, Social Security, Medicare, taxes, global warming, education, equality... well, you get it. Recently, however, our conversations had changed to the basic difference between right and wrong. We discussed that this election has drawn a moral line in the sand. We are no longer living in a time where we can discuss basic policy (am I insane to admit there are times that I miss W?) but instead, a time where we are deciding the fate of our country.
I promise that the future of this blog will not be one draped in political agenda. Ronni felt so strongly about this election — please VOTE.
Thanks Autumn! I woke up thinking about the election of course but Ronnie as well. And that funny little phrase came to mind…what would Ronni do. Or better yet…what would Ronni say. I feel hopeful today but fearful for the days ahead for I, like many others, anticipate continued bad behavior one way or the other.
Posted by: Carol | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 05:11 AM
Thank you So Much
I feel upset Having learnt Ronny s death
Very anxious about the vote
From Chantal in paris France
Posted by: Chantal artaud | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 05:27 AM
I am still so bummed about Ronni. Even when you know the plan, there's still a vacancy that is somehow unexpected. But I am so grateful to read your words this morning, Autumn; you bring us back to the present in such a gentle, caring way. Carry on, my dear.
Posted by: Mindy | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 05:41 AM
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Checking in here, I feel fortunate to be able to do that.
The media have made a lot of $$ feeding the hysteria. Yesterday there were lots of stories about boarding up places around the country...in anticipation of this day. Not a good look for America.
We're a little weary, but we will be fine.
Posted by: Perspective | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 05:51 AM
I checked in this morning as i have for the last 13 years and you were here! Thanks Autumn. I voted early and completely blue.
Posted by: Pilgrim | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 06:19 AM
Like Pilgrim I am so pleased and comforted to see you here Autumm.
This is definitely about right and wrong. I watched Pete Souza’s film “The Way I Seen It” last night and was moved to tears.
Posted by: annie | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 06:48 AM
The film is “The Way I See It.
Posted by: annie | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 06:50 AM
Yes, Pete Souza, mentioned by annie, has been a blessing through all of this madcap administration. I follow him on Instagram and love seeing photos of when we had real leadership in the White House and the adults were in charge, being responsible as well as caring. I miss those days with all my heart.
I will miss Ronni's take on the final count as we all know she would have had plenty to say. Autumn, thank you for keeping on. We all appreciate you.
Posted by: dkzody | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:22 AM
Comforting to see you here on this very important day. You and Ronni are correct, it is about right and wrong. I voted early and checked my ballot had arrived. Think I will clean things today. That's what I do when I'm anxious or sad.
Posted by: Celia Andrews | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:22 AM
Autumn, I look forward to getting to know you through TGB.
Posted by: Tony Sarmiento | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:29 AM
I voted by mail (received and accepted by the Election Commission on 10/26/2020), this time. I'm past the age of being cavalier about the COVID risk.
For the first time in my life I voted a straight ticket. I have been registered as an independent for most of the 60 years during which I've been old enough to vote. (Voting age was 21 in my day and I was 22 before I got to vote.)
Posted by: Cop Car | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:33 AM
Thank you Autumn. You are indeed a writer. I voted early in CA. I am devastated on a daily basis when I watch or read the news about our current administration and those who profit from it. And I am a person of privilege.
For the present moment, I am avoiding the news not because I don't care, but because I have health issues and stress triggers insomnia, anxiety and depression in me. I am also doing the inner work to increase my understanding and compassion for those with whom I disagree. I am active on social media and there are so many haters in today's world. Even many of the people with whom I would *agree* in ideology are very toxic and mean spirited. Local politics in my small city is very dysfunctional, on top of the national mess.
I'd say "onward in solidarity" but that implies that I'm more active in the resistance than I actually am. I only believe in a Higher Power sort of a god, so praying isn't my cup of tea either. So I'll just go with "onward".
Posted by: Jane | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:34 AM
Autumn, It is a great comfort to see your words here today.
I was worried about the postal service so I took my courage in hand and voted early and in person.. Blue, of course.
I seldom leave my house. I am old and there is a virua out there that wants to kill me–––still voting is vitally important.
How I wish Ronni could be here to join with us in whatever comes after today.
Posted by: Fritzy | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:37 AM
Really good of you to post today, Autumn. We are experiencing a collective anxiety. A few more days and we will know the direction this country is choosing to move in. I hope we choose to support the greater good.
Posted by: Janet Spiegel | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:44 AM
Thank you Autumn. Tears sprang to my eyes when I saw the blog in my email! The tears are for Ronni, but also they are tears of gratitude for the continuity you are providing.
I live in Colorado, so voted by mail as you do in Oregon. I am hopeful, I am scared, I am determined to continue with the good in life despite the outcome of the election, but I won't lie, it'll be a lot easier if Biden wins. Not easy, by any stretch; there is a lot to fix, a lot of work to do and, well, you all know all that.
For now, I just want to send blessings, to Ronni's bright spirit, and to all of you, all of us. We will carry on.
Posted by: Lola Sorensen | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:48 AM
A laudable, good beginning column, Autumn.
Welcome! And as Jimmy Hendrix wrote, "Kiss the Sky" today and feel the warmth of everyone under this crisp, clear, BLUE visual encircling this earth.
To get through today when anxiousness presses my button, I'll be watching the ads put out by The Lincoln Project, among other plans of entertainment and indulgences of my choosing.
Posted by: Simone | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:48 AM
Here in Arizona, many of us volunteers for both Dems and for Gun violence prevention are anticipating our beloved Arizona turning Blue! The GOP here has messed up education funding and leaders will not even give sensible gun law proposals a hearing. And still lots of racism in politics.
I made calls twice-weekly for many months and we have many younger Hispanic voters excited to be heard.
Have fun tonight and check in on AZ to see what happens! We are pretty confident about Mark Kelly winning but there are a ton of close local races!
Posted by: Kath Noble | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:49 AM
Thank you, Autumn.
A comfort to read your blog this morning.
Posted by: Marilyn Bunte | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:55 AM
So glad to see this column still active. Good to have you in charge Autumn. What others have said, ditto. And to just add my stress-avoidance, I'll only watch one hour of results tonight...fairly late. Then will do my breathing treatment, because asthma and cough are rearing their ugly heads. Then I'll have to check in the next day to find out what the midnight results might have been...but I am willing to wait a few weeks to know what all those mail-in ballots have said. All Votes Count!
Posted by: Barb Rogers | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:56 AM
Thank you for posting today, Autumn.
We are all anxious today...
I can't stop thinking about Ronni---she had talked about her end of life drugs in several posts and I am wondering if some of her own questions can be answered...
When did she decide it was time and how did she reach that conclusion?
Did she have breakfast and lunch that day? Do the dishes? Or leave them?
Did she have wine and snacks for her "helpers" that day?
Did she dress in a favorite outfit?
Did she call her son, Ex-Alex, Peter Tibbles ahead of time to tell them the day had come?
Not meaning to be morose---it was Ronni who brought up those topics. Maybe she would want us to know the answers?
Thank you. Jane
Posted by: Jane | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:57 AM
I add my thanks for you being here Autumn.
It was just what I needed to hear today.
We are so lucky you & Ronni were friends.
Posted by: Susan | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:59 AM
Thanks so much. Ronni was one of the people on my mind early this morning - she must have been ready to die if she felt she couldn't wait to see what happened. (Or afraid she couldn't bear what might happen.) In any case, I'm sorry she's not here to comment on it.
Jane, I've wondered the same kinds of things as you.
Autumn, how did you and Ronni come to be such good friends? I ask this as someone who has a very hard time making friends.
Posted by: Mary Jamison | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:03 AM
Thank you Autumn for carrying on for Ronni ~ You are indeed a balm to our bruised spirits. Ronni can rest in peace knowing that you are at the helm. I echo everyones gratitude, anxiety for the future and concern for the day. Please know that we are so lucky to have you to keep us all in touch!
Posted by: Diane | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:07 AM
Hello, Autumn; thank you for your presence here and reminiscence about you talks with Ronni. On Election night 2016 I went to bed early thinking one thing and then learning another... not gonna make that mistake again. Wishing you and all readers equanimity.
Posted by: Duchesse | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:08 AM
Autumn! It’s so good that you are carrying on flying Ronni's flag. Soon I’m sure it will become your own. For sure that’s what Ronni would want.
We in Canada are also anxious about the outcome today, or whenever the result is clear. Unless you can keep up with the results in a pragmatic way, it’s been suggested that the healthiest action is to turn off the news, go for a walk, get into a task or do some other thing that is not election related.
Posted by: Janet Lewis | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:09 AM
The good news is most of the voting is done, and it has gone extraordinarily well. Trump and his minions do not control the outcome by pronouncing victory. Huge early voting tilting Democratic should be reassuring to Biden voters. Aside from that, just let election officials do their jobs. We will have a winner, but quite possibly not Tuesday night.
I welcomed Ronnie's strong opinions and appreciate your presence and message! Missing Ronnie oh so much, and hoping that outcomes will make her smile.
Posted by: Susan Penn | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:15 AM
Thank you, Autumn, what peace of mind you brought Ronni, we spoke often about what an incredible gift you were and continue to be. This election IS about right and wrong. These past four years our own gov't has denigrated, denied, thrown out, spit on, mocked and dissed all the values and good behaviors my parents and teachers tried to instill in me. Character and ethics have ceased to matter.
Posted by: WENDL | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:22 AM
Very good. Don't feel you are doing anything wrong. This is the way Ronni would have wanted it. I'm just sorry she's not here to see the results. She never leaves my thoughts these days.
Posted by: ALEX BENNETT | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:23 AM
Thank you for your thoughts Autumn, and for everyone's comments. It has made me feel more hopeful knowing that there are other voices out there saying the same things. Praying for a peaceful outcome to this election, but still very worried.
Posted by: Mary | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:24 AM
I am 85 so I might not be around for another general election. I voted by mail asap- a straight blue ballot as I have done for decades.
I thank all of you for writing and thank goodness for you, Autumn.
I have followed this blog since its first appearance. I rarely comment but I am going to miss Ronni as if I lost my best friend.
Posted by: Merna Zimmerman | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:33 AM
Let me add my thank you, Autumn. I believe Ronni would want us to carry on, fight the good fight, and care for one another.
Posted by: Marcia | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:34 AM
Oh, Autumn, I was so pleased to see 'Time Goes By' in my inbox this morning! So much anxiety today, and somehow seeing TGB helped to normalize the day a little. I join Jane and others in wishing to know whatever you feel you can share about Ronni's final few days. We do have the 'Alex and Ronni' show from just a few days before, to hold on to, but I selfishly thought she might share some of her final decision-making and kind of give us a 'warning'...absolutely not that she *had* to do so, of course...just that she had been so open up until then.'
We would love to know whatever you feel comfortable sharing about yourself, too...where you live, something of your background, how you and Ronni knew each other. We look forward to getting to know you!
Posted by: Ali | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:39 AM
Ronni and I were on different sides of the spectrum but I still enjoyed her column. Where would the world be if we all thought the same? My fear is not so much of Biden winning as it is of Harris becoming President. Either way, we all need to continue to live our lives as best we could. If nothing else, Ronni’s blog showed us life is precious and way too short.
Posted by: Gail | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:44 AM
I told my husband awhile ago that I won’t be watching returns with him. No news today, either. To reduce my stress level, I scheduled a mammogram for today, because what could be more soothing? A dear friend had a hospice evaluation this morning, which was actually lovely. (She failed - as in there’s no reason for them to think she’s going to die anytime soon.)
Seriously, we need to care for our mental health, to be effective. Being in panic mode doesn’t help anybody.
Care for yourself now, Autumn. Thank you for taking this on.
Posted by: Elizabeth Archerd | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:44 AM
I am also thinking about Ronni and how she decided that was the time to depart. Can you post on this? I had been reading her blog for several months, and I found it to be interesting and from a view point I had not read about before, that is from someone who was dealing with difficult conditions and might want to check out.
As for the election, it is difficult waiting . My hope is that the crazies out there don't do too much destruction in the meantime and after the verdict is in.
Posted by: Irene | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:55 AM
It’s great to see Autmn carrying on Ronni’s work. It’s a consolation for missing her wise words.
I can’t help but wonder how she chose her day to leave her body. With Election Day so close to her chosen day it seems like leaving a movie right before the final act begins!
As a contemplative person I’m sure she had a good reason for choosing the day she did but I wish Ronni would have told us more about how she came to choose the Friday before the Election.
Posted by: Dianae Weeks | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:56 AM
Good morning Autumn and thank you for posting today. It is comforting to see TGB still here and to read everyone's comments. I can only echo all the sentiments expressed so beautifully all ready. These are such difficult times and I sorely need this blog and hearing from all of Ronni's people.
Posted by: Susan | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:57 AM
Thank you Autumn, for your kind presence.
My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your dear friend..and to you, Tim, on the loss of your brave Mother.She is
a Shining Star !
Warm , hopeful thoughts to those voting today.
From Regina Sk, Canada
Posted by: Marena Charron | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 08:58 AM
I'm so glad to see you here today, Autumn! It's immensely comforting to be reminded that kindred spirits do exist -- and to know where to find them.
Posted by: Susan A Jackson | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:08 AM
First of all, thank you, Autumn, for being here for us. And for being as honest and straightforward as Ronni would have been. This is a haven ... and reading all the responses to your post, I know I am not the only one who feels that way. I so desperately want to share how profoundly sad I am that Ronni has gone. Miss Fancy Pants, the chat with Alex ... and then all of a sudden - or so it seemed despite all her efforts to prep us - no more Ronni. And although there are friends I have tried to share how I feel with ... it is only here that there are people who truly understand.
As for today (and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow ... ), fingers tightly crossed, good juju flowing and my firm intentions not to listen to speculations, opinions or predictions from anyone. 2000 docet. And I will NOT surrender to the fear and despair being so heartlessly manufactured in such massive doses.
I wish you all well and I wish good news for us all ... we are truly in need of it.
Thank you for keeping this haven open, Autumn - with all my heart.
Posted by: laura | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:10 AM
Just carry on and don’t feed into the hysteria that the media will promote. The news won’t be any better at midnight . Get a good nights sleep everyone and what ever the outcome, know that there is a new generation that will be making change. I know Ronnie had hoped to live long enough to see if America would trounce the current fellow out of office. Hope her wish comes true.
Posted by: Janis | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:13 AM
Hi Autumn. Thank you for posting today. I have found myself thinking of Ronni constantly since I learned the sad news on Saturday. It seems strange to miss someone so much whom I never met, never spoke with, but there it is. I don't go out much these days, but when I do walk around this city that Ronni loved so dearly, I think of her. I am grateful she got to control her exit from this world as she wanted to, but I am so very sad she is gone.
As you can see from the commenters, some of us are curious about how you came to know Ronni. I, too, am hoping you might share some of that story if and when you feel the time is right.
As for anxiety, probably because I am in NYC, I am not worried about my own personal safety due to election violence. You are not insane for missing W, but only because relative to Trump he seems like a decent person. Heck, he may be a decent person - Michelle Obama seems to think so - but the policies of the Republican Party have not been "decent" going back many, many years now. But today I choose to feel hopeful. Perhaps this election will give the country the chance to get back in balance, just a little bit. Perhaps not, and we will have to wait - and work for the resistance - another four years. But long-term, the old ways of patriarchal white America will change, because demographics are changing, and because the younger generations care about one another -- despite differences in race, gender identity issues, sexual orientation, etc etc -- in ways we oldsters seemingly have not figured out how to do. My heartfelt condolences on the loss of your good friend Ronni.
Posted by: Patty-in-New-York | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:41 AM
Jane is right - we want to know!
I am pleased that you are carrying the torch here, Autumn. I voted early, blue all the way!!
Posted by: Judy Carrino | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:46 AM
Thank you Ronni. Godspeed!
Posted by: Regina B. | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:52 AM
Thank you Autumn for carrying on “As Time Goes By”. Your words today are a blessing.
Posted by: Janet aka Chancy | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:53 AM
Autumn -- Thank you!
What a welcome gift, your choosing to post today.
We are all so anxious about the election and Ronni's death, and being able to click on the TGB site, what joy it brought!
Also, being able to share our thoughts and feelings as we are accustomed to do, brings solace and lowers one's anxiety for whatever reason.
Autumn---I know Ronni is out there hovering, and would be proud of your first addition to her legacy.
Posted by: victoria | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:58 AM
So happy to see As Time Goes By in my inbox this evening ( I live in the UK). I cried when I read your first post, so sad that Ronni isn't here for the results, but also glad that she was able to make her own choices as to the time and manner of her death. I like to believe that some part of her will know that her vote helped to make a difference.
Autumn, thank you for carrying on this newsletter which means so much to so many of us. You have already shown that you are going to carry on making a difference.
Posted by: Carla | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 10:00 AM
I live on a farm - a rural community (small village). I voted early this morning - blue in a heavy red community.
Thank you so much, Autumn, for continuing Ronni's legacy. I look forward to getting to know you as time goes by!
I would like to give a donation in Ronni's memory. Can you help me to know what specific causes or organizations Ronni supported? Thank you.
May peace and calm carry the day, no matter the outcome.
Posted by: Rebecca Magalhaes | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 10:19 AM
I've thought so many times of how much Ronni wanted to see this day. Your apprehension regarding this election, and the state of our world is understandable. My ways of coping are taking long walks with my dog, talking with a friend, not watching or listening to the hyper energetic talking heads, and my old standby, meditation. Like everyone, I swing between hope and fear. Many, including the leader of the Poor Peoples' Campaign recommend praying every hour.
Thank you so much for your post, Autumn, it made my day to see it in my mailbox!
Posted by: Salinda Dahl | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 10:19 AM
Still stunned Ronni had to leave before Election Day, so preparing to celebrate for her w 🍾🥂 in the fridge.
Was anxious last night and early this morning (up at 5), and then the sun came out, people are voting by the gazillion, and I tapped into a bit of Hope.
Going to take it for a walk! Under BLUE skies 🇺🇸
Thinking of this community constantly. But feel Ronni is at peace, and we/I must be at peace w and for her...
Posted by: SusanL | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 10:27 AM
This is the day I thought I'd hear Ronni say those same words VOTE, and she's still here with us, as I can see by all of your comments, and yes thanks Autumn for keeping us together, want to share my sons post, on FB today "I get that politics are important, because we as a country rely on our government to act in the best interest of the country, and it’s okay to have some discussion and compromise about what is in the best interest of the country.... but whatever it is that we have going on now goes so far beyond politics. It’s like a gang war where people are fighting for their colors without any coherent thought about the true reasons behind the fighting... the last four years have been like being a Marlins fan stuck at a Yankees/Redsox game. Whatever happens today, I sure hope we can work towards civility as a nation and honor the ideals of what this country is supposed to stand for." (he's the father of four a special ed teacher, and husband too...our Middle son, negotiator.
Our eldest son wrote this when he was 17, he's now 42, and husband and father... "
Remember, a poem for the millions by Scott Backer.
A time of innocence,
Goodness in the eye.
A weed strangled the flower,
And the flower began to die.
The weed spread its deadly seed,
throughout the Garden's life.
Poison and death arouse,
from the womb of the weed's strife.
The Garden took no notice,
of the dying flower.
As behind their eyes the weed did grow,
taller than a tower.
But in the end the weed was plucked,
Saving the helpless plant.
Yet when we look back, we see our faults,
And proclaim next time, We Can't.
Cannot allow the weed to grow,
To take another flower.
But never forget the flowers death,
While the Garden did nothing but cower."
Youngest son is a Mental Health Counselor, he's figuring out how to cash out his govt. bonds or not.
Ronni, wherever you are, G-d bless.
Posted by: Martha K. Backer | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:08 AM
I was shocked and saddened to hear of Ronni's passing when I came to the blog yesterday, even though I knew it was coming. I have been reading and enjoying her blog for over 10 years ... she was a wonderful writer with a way of getting to the heart of the matter.
You, too, were spot on with your post today Autumn ... it is a question of right and wrong. I am an American citizen living in Canada and my anxiety level is through the roof (and, yes, we have voted).
I'm so pleased you have taken over for Ronni.
Posted by: Jane Chapell | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:38 AM
You have already come through, so soon, giving us today's "Time Go By". I was really dreading it not being there this morning. . But OMG there it is. I almost cried with relief. You are wonderful to take this job on.
Like you I am in knots with fear over this election. It looks like game over if trump wins, but it can't be. We have to be willing to push and fight for the rest of our lives, no matter what the odds are. But the odds eventually will yield to demographics and that will mean a much more liberal country.
Hats off to you, Autumn. We are so lucky for Ronni having you for a friend.
Posted by: page day | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:38 AM
Late to the party, as usual, but thank you, Autumn, for today's post. I think you will be a great success as the writer of TGB. I join those who have asked about Ronni's expected-but-unexpected departure, if she chose "the day" and whether she took advantage of Oregon's MAiD.
Hoping for the best in the election. I'm closing in on 84 so this may well be my last presidential vote. I'd be SO relieved to live the next however-many months or years without the would-be Emperor of tRumpystan destroying democracy and the nation's mental equilibrium at every opportunity.
Posted by: Elizabeth Rogers | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:45 AM
As I stood in line this morning to vote I thought of Ronnie. How she wanted to see this night. I thank her for the wisdom, knowledge, and information she gave us all as we voted today. Thank you Ronnie and thank you Autumn for your words. I was so happy to see them this morning.
Posted by: Marie | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:52 AM
Thank you Autumn! Grateful that we have you and really feeling the loss of Ronni.
Posted by: Ursula | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:57 AM
I am with you 100 percent. The tension is excruciating. Thanks for writing.
Posted by: Rebecca Howard | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:00 PM
Appreciate your continuing to write here. I recall the anxiety I felt in 2006 when I accidentally launched on to the web a trial writing intended for myself only — concern about RB’s reaction, that of others in the TGB community. All was just fine. Everyone was very supportive. Write about what captures your interests at the time which may include politics on occasion. Just keep writing as the spirit moves you and if you need to take a break, do so, as readers will still be here. Do take good care of yourself.
Posted by: Joared | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:23 PM
I am also keeping my head in the sand Autumn. Thanks you for writing and this Canadian [and many others] wish America much luck and a Biden win ASAP - surely we won't have to look at or listen to that ugly sick man for much longer.
Posted by: Betty Bishop | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:30 PM
Autumn, thanks so much for a Tuesday surprise in my mailbox today! I feel assured knowing you are there to carry on for us all in Ronni's absence. Like many other readers, I am curious about Ronni's decision to leave before the election, her rather abrupt departure and not warning us (though she certainly didn't owe us an explanation) and how things went at the end. Her quote was priceless and I shall carry it with me forever. As for today, I feel like a ship at the edge of Niagara Falls and can only wonder how deep and deadly the drop is for us all. But it's these fellow readers that keep me encouraged that somehow life will go on and be meaningful. Many of us may not live to see another election, so it would be lovely if this one brought peace and hope. Love to all.
Posted by: Adele Frances | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:38 PM
Autumn, thank you so much. My heart lifted when I saw that you had posted this morning. Like everyone, I miss Ronni so much. We’ve lost such a dear friend, haven’t we! Ronni’s lively spirit will live brightly on, even though I’m experiencing it through many tears right now. As others have said, anything more you might care to share about Ronni and about your relationship with her would bring comfort and would be appreciated. Again, thank you, dear Autumn!
Posted by: Janet in Minnesota | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:43 PM
Ronni is at peace. Her wisdom benefited us all, and will continue to do so into the future. As a late comer, I plan to go back to the Archives and glean all of the good counsel and information that Ronnie and guests imparted through the years. And now, I look forward to your taking the elm dear Autumn. Thank you for reaching out today. This political transition, for better or worse, will be over in due time. Let's join with the younger generations in fostering hope, goodness and love. Watching a rerun of Mr. Rogers' documentary last night, brought things into focus for me. Aiming to do what little or big positive things we can accomplish in this world, in our neighborhood, or in our house, will help us achieve some peace.
Posted by: Rita | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 12:54 PM
Someone mentioned ‘collective anxiety’ and i would agree. I feel rudderless even though i am at work and have things to do. (Like....work)
Thank you for posting today. We need a tiny voice of reason in these uncertain times.
Posted by: Debbie | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 01:42 PM
Thank you for posting. Still can’t believe she is gone. Seeing your post made me still feel a conn today and it meant a lot.
Posted by: Mary | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:20 PM
Posted by: Mary | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:21 PM
I’d just turned 60 and wanted to read about other people’s experiences of living as an older person and of dealing with the practicalities of life in the slower lane. I happened on a blog written by a lady in the throes of moving from Portland, Maine to Portland, Oregon together with her dear cat, Ollie. I was hooked. Twelve years on and several personal emails later, all of them answered promptly and kindly ( one in which she asked if she might build a post around the subject I’d raised, and did ) she has gone. And boy do I miss her.
Thankyou Autumn for being here.
Posted by: Anne Brew | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:25 PM
I missed the post about Ronni's passing and wondered for a few minutes why someone else was writing. I'm so sorry for your loss, Autumn. Obviously, you were good friends for her to trust you with her passion project. I look forward to getting to know you...if you plan to keep the blog going beyond the condolence period.
Posted by: Misadventures of Widowhood | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:36 PM
Thanks, Autumn, Please keep talking, posting, and keeping us connected. We need to go forward with this group. We are all on the same journey. Ronnie taught us this and led. Now it is up to us and you.
Maybe...Ronnie knew something we don't know...yet...about tonight.
Here's to all of you....
Posted by: karin bendel | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:41 PM
I will miss Ronni. I've read her blog for maybe 10 years. I will be glad if Autumn continues it, however she might wish to do it.
It seems to me that if Ronni wanted to announce to us when she was taking the drugs, then she would have told us. To me it seemed like she was giving us hints last week, and she left us with the funny memory of the fancy pants.
Someone else asked where we could make a donation in Ronni's honor. I hope you can give us some ideas about that.
Posted by: Cindy | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 02:55 PM
Oh Autumn, I wish I'd seen this early today . Alas, work got in the way.
We have a news blackout in our home and have for days. Last night, we watched the British production of "Kinky Boots" on PBS. I've just finished a long work day and have avoided even most FB posts, reading only the belief that we'll know tonight.
What I did early today was to listen to the 30 October Ronni & Alex show and sobbed. No idea how to reach Alex (my energy to search was missing today) and felt such incredible sadness at their conversation on the day before Ronni's death.
And because my beliefs in a 'hereafter' are very much modeled on "Defending Your Life", I think Ronni will get to see the video of today and the outcome so she'll know.
And yes, "to everything there is a season" .. as she said it on the show, I sang it .. a song our congregation always sings at the Jewish high holy days .. and one that makes me cry then too.
May her memory be for a blessing. May Joe and Kamala and every Blue candidate kick ass in her memory.
Thank you so much for writing. Your kindness and generosity is a mitzvah.
Posted by: Joan Eisenstodt | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 03:10 PM
I hear you Autumn. I don't even want to go to any news stations and added to that my back kicked up and sitting, standing, laying hurts. Don't think I can pace but my mind is.
Posted by: Bonnie Blayney | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 03:25 PM
This morning I gave out snax and beverages for 2 1/2 hours at one of the polling places. I played my kazoo and danced. So joyful to see people voting including one young woman who cast her very first vote. I live in Athens Georgia. I'm hopeful.
Posted by: Rosemary Woodel | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 04:12 PM
I have avoided most social media all day today, instead getting outside for a nice walk in reasonable temperatures and sunshine. This evening, I dropped in on some news shows but could not stand the guessing game about election returns so decided to visit Time Goes By to read an older post, as like others here I was missing Ronni's voice. I was so happy to see a post by you, Autumn, and the chance to connect with this community that has come to mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time to share some of your thoughts, especially on such a fraught day.
Posted by: Nina | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 05:16 PM
Thank you, Autumn, for speaking to the issue that concerns us most—even more at this moment than growing old. After giving it some thought, though, it doesn’t surprise me that Ronni decided to leave the world before the actual election. She had voted. There was nothing more she could do except hope for the best for us and for her country. But I doubt that she felt a need to be here on earth for the inevitable punditry and hand-wringing of the election itself.
As for me, I will watch nothing about the election. My TV will be tuned to a movie, one as escapist as I can find. The opinions of a bunch of news media political professionals mean nothing to me, and the stress of listening to them would be unbearable. I have voted, and when there is a result I will know it. There was a time when it wasn’t this way. Many years ago, I was even married for awhile to a Republican and we joked that neither of us dared to not vote because we needed to cancel out the other’s vote. Imagine joking about an election nowadays.
I am sorely missing Ronni, but I’m glad she left TGB in your capable hands. I hope you will keep it up as long as you can. It was, as Laura says, “only here that there are people who truly understand.” We need that ability to share and to understand now more than ever.
Posted by: Emma Jay | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 06:02 PM
I will miss Ronni and her sometimes cynical remarks. I'm glad she was able to vote and almost made it to the election. Autumn, you have big shoes to fill. The best of luck to you.
Posted by: Penelope James | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:56 PM
Thank you, Autumn.
Posted by: Norma | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 07:58 PM
I am sitting here at 12 am on Election Night with a knot in my stomach. Thank you for making me feel empathy with you..........................It is not going to be a landslide by any means. And the Senate may not flip, damn it. But I think Biden will squeak in.................... I had to laugh that you too said you were crazy to wish for W. Me too! I can remember thinking, How bad would another candidate have to be for me to vote for GWB over that other candidate. Yep. I would vote for GWB over DT in a heartbeat if those were the only choices.
Maybe it's a blessing Ronnie went when she did. She didn't need this anxiety that many are feeling tonight.
Posted by: Kyoko | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 09:13 PM
I'm posting late because I just returned home from being a poll worker in CA where voters had 4 days to vote.
While we had several incidents of bad behavior by Trump voters, I was thrilled at how many young people turned out to vote, including many 18 year old who were voting for the first time.
There is a future.
I am so sad Ronni didn't live long enough to see the results.
Posted by: Irma | Tuesday, 03 November 2020 at 11:15 PM
We stayed up late, and we got up at our normal time. It was only to find that It's all too close to call. Still.
Posted by: MageB | Wednesday, 04 November 2020 at 10:28 AM
The democrats have won and now they are going to take away all the wealth the boomers accumulated over their lives with high taxes and cutting SS, and are going to destroy your white suburban neighborhoods with low income housing. Everything you boomers spent your entire lives working for is now going to be destroyed. And you deserve this for selling out your own children's futures. You are feeling hopeless right now? Congratulations, this is how your children have felt for the past 20 years. Your karma is coming, boomers!
Posted by: pah | Wednesday, 04 November 2020 at 08:14 PM
Best to you Autum, but if you are planning to include political discourse and opinions on issues other than Ronni's original intent.....I will sign off.
Posted by: M. Brown | Wednesday, 04 November 2020 at 11:33 PM
Bless Ronnie, and you Autumn, for finding a way to continue her legacy. This forum is so important for so many seniors who feel disenfranchised in a youth-oriented world.
Posted by: bruce cooper | Thursday, 05 November 2020 at 03:23 AM
I wonder if Ronni cast her mail in vote before she passed. I always vote. We can do what we can and then hope for the best. Sometimes it feels like we're rolling dice.
Posted by: Peggy Race | Thursday, 05 November 2020 at 04:14 AM
Two days after the election finds us still in the holding pattern. This was my second presidential election serving at the polls as a judge. In 2016 the tabulator had jammed and it was nearly 10p.m. before we had everything resolved for the figures, documents and supplies ready to be turned in to our local board of election office. When I got in my car and turned the radio on, Trump's victory was just being announced. I was soooo hoping that history would not repeat itself two nights ago, and it did not. However, waiting in limbo has not left me feeling much better. I wish I could fast forward to a more stable and productive time in American history, if there will be such a time in the not-too-distant future, when things are humming and people are working and happy and enjoying a harmonious co-existence.
Posted by: Cathy J. | Thursday, 05 November 2020 at 08:41 AM
"I wonder if Ronni cast her mail in vote before she passed. "
Yes Peggy, she sure did! There's no way our Ronni would have allowed herself to die before she had voted. She mentioned having done so in a recent column, I can't remember which one it was.
Love and empathy to all of Ronni's followers in this difficult and extraordinary time.
Posted by: Katie | Friday, 06 November 2020 at 06:49 AM
But her vote won't be counted, alas. But what counts is that she knew she cast it.
This is just my imagination and I might be wrong, but maybe Ronni, if she still had the strength to think about it, was as anxious about the election as we were. What if she waited to see what happened and what happened was terrible? How terrible it would have been to depart on that note. Maybe she wanted to leave still hoping. It looks like her hope has been fulfilled—by a hair.
Thank you, Autumn. I miss Ronni achingly, but a fragrance of her clings around you, plus I am glad to meet you in your own right. I would be interested in hearing how you got to know Ronni in the first place. (She and I were neighbors in New York, and fellow bloggers, and cat lovers, and if I remember correctly we are both Aries with birthdays not far apart. We became fast friends, and though life soon pulled us in different directions, we remained so.)
Posted by: Annie Gottlieb | Friday, 06 November 2020 at 06:23 PM
I thought Ronni's vote would be counted, because she lived in Oregon.
"If you vote by mail, but die before Election Day, does your vote count? It depends on where you lived.
Oregon counts ballots no matter what happens to the voter. So does Florida. But in South Dakota, if you die before the election, so does your vote."
That's from a 2008 cbsnews.com article, but I was assuming it would still be the case?
Ronni would have known. She didn't miss anything.
Posted by: Katie | Friday, 06 November 2020 at 10:14 PM
Joe Biden will be our 46th President; how I wish Ronni was with us right now, to deliver the good news and celebrate with us. Miss you & your Interesting Stuff today, Ronni.
Posted by: Doug M | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 10:01 AM
So sorry Ronni didn't make it to see today's results. She would have loved a female vice president.
Posted by: Joell | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 10:24 AM
We did it. Joe Biden is now in place as the President elect to reset the country. Keep on eye on him. He'll need your guidance, even from afar. Kamala will help, but he needs your steady hand and fire in the belly. Remind him of the errors of the past and the potential for a brighter future. Only you can tell the tale and punctuate it with experience and zeal. A political junky to the last. I'm celebrating with you with chocolate covered strawberries.
All my love,
Posted by: John Brandt | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 10:48 AM
I can see Ronni's beaming smile right now.
Posted by: Mark Anderson | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 01:41 PM
Like others here, I had to come to Time Goes By to mention how sorry I am that Ronni didn't live to see the result of the election. Although the days this week have been so frustrating and nerve-wracking, I am actually kind of glad she didn't have to go through the week. Like Mark, I can see her beaming smile at this news.
Posted by: Nina | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 02:58 PM
Katie, I hope you're right and that Ronni's vote counted. According to the national council of state legislatures (ncsl.org), Oregon neither explicitly affirms this in legislation nor forbids it, and if the ballot has been removed from its identifying envelope and the vote counters didn't know about the death when they counted the vote . . . well, see for yourselves.
Posted by: Annie Gottlieb | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 05:57 PM
We, yo, did it, Ronni!
Posted by: Judith | Saturday, 07 November 2020 at 07:29 PM
Just heard that Alex Trebek died today.
Posted by: Christine | Sunday, 08 November 2020 at 10:10 AM
Nov. 08, 2020 - 3:58 - ‘Jeopardy!’ host Alex Trebek died at the age of 80 after a battle with pancreatic cancer.
Posted by: yellowstone | Sunday, 08 November 2020 at 10:21 AM
With others here again celebrating the news that would have delighted Ronni. I'm hoping she's feeling the vibes of all the excitement about that this weekend!
And, at the other end of the happiness continuum, sorry to have heard the sad news of Alex Trebek's death. May he rest in peace.
Posted by: Cathy J. | Sunday, 08 November 2020 at 11:41 AM
I needed to plug into Ronni's vibes through her fellow followers. I'd like to think that she can feel the collective sigh of relief emanating from us mortals. Her voice has been so much a part of this journey, it seems she must be sharing in the triumph.
I'm saddened to hear of Alex Trebek's passing. He and Ronni were inspirational in their steadfast determination to continue giving of themselves throughout their difficult prognoses. They each were important in my life and will be missed.
Posted by: Susan | Sunday, 08 November 2020 at 12:21 PM
Thank you, Susan. You said everything I have been feeling and thinking over the past few days. Thank you again, Autumn, for keeping this haven open for us.
Posted by: laura | Sunday, 08 November 2020 at 10:56 PM
I just wanted to mention that if, like me, you've become rather interested over the past couple of years in how Alex Bennett is doing too, you can still do that on his YouTube channel. He posted a fun short video on Saturday of the celebratory noise that could be heard from his NYC apartment with the windows open. It sounded like New Year's Eve! After that he posted an interesting pop-up zoom meeting of friends discussing the election. I found it very interesting and enjoyable and enjoyed hearing more from Alex from a different perspective. In that one there was a brief mention of Ronni's passing, as one of his friends shared condolences.
Posted by: Cathy J. | Monday, 09 November 2020 at 10:28 AM